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  • How I Spent My Summer, # 1: In the Library (or the story of the $ 95 blog)

    Earlier this summer we traveled out West, with stops in South Dakota, Wyoming and Montana.

    I do hope to post on that sometime. But that will take a bit more effort. Sorting through pictures, etc.

    Today I’d like to share a little story of an incident that happened the Friday after we returned home.

    I often meet up with a friend Friday mornings and sometimes head over to one of my favorite libraries afterwards.

    So I did that very thing that Friday morning.

    I think I’d gotten a little nugget of an idea for the post I began writing that day sometime the night before or that morning.

    As I sat down with my laptop and coffee travel mug (yes, they’re allowed at this library), it began to flow.

    (No, not the coffee, but the words! )

    Praying and reflecting.

    Reading and contemplating on Scripture.

    More writing, some fixes, edits, tweaks.

    Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

    Etc., etc., etc.

    Finally it was finished.

    If you’ve been reading on my other site, you know I’ve been serious about joy.

    So that post was another one in my series of letters on assurance and fighting for joy.

    dear devil/dear flock of God (day in, day out): Letter 63 on assurance & joy was posted at 2:42 that Friday afternoon.

    Don’t ask me all I did after I posted that entry.

    A bit of reading, commenting, messaging, pondering, looking out the window (nice view), sipping on cold coffee, idk.

    Anyhow, 4:15 rolls around.

    An announcement comes that the front desk that the library will be closing at 4:30.

    (This is a private college library and this was one of those dead weeks during the summer.)

    “Ok,” I think, “Fine. I’ll start packing up. I should get going. I’m hungry after all. Where has the time gone?”

    (I confess I can get pretty carried away with reading and writing and so forth.)

    As soon I stepped out of the cool library into the bright summer heat, I remembered…

    “My car is parked in the tow zone!”

    (No parking between 4pm and 6pm on weekdays.)

    Oops!

    I couldn’t help but chuckle (yes, it was a bit of an annoyed chuckle), knowing I had just finished that post on joy.

    God does have a sense of humor (or is it humour?).

    I did pick up the pace, however, thinking that perhaps they’d not come around to tow my car to who knows where.

    Well, I got there.

    My car wasn’t there.

    I called a friend to get the phone number for the parking enforcement people.

    She was there to get my call.

    The friend I chose to call did live nearby – just in case I’d be in need of a ride to who knows where to get my car.

    Turns out it was towed to an open spot a couple blocks away so I was able to retrieve it easily.

    Of course, there was a price to pay…

    The small print says $ 95.

    $ 50 for towing.

    $ 45 to the city.

    Blockhead. Idiot.

    Yes, I won’t do that again, I’m sure.

    So there we have it.

    How I spent my summer, # 1:

    In the library.

    This is the story of the $ 95 blog.

    Let’s think about this now.

    As of tonight here’s the view count and recs for that particular post:

    Posted 7/9/2010 2:42 PM – 26 Views – 6 eProps – 5 comments

    recs
    2

    So, according to my calculations, that works out to

    just under $ 16 / eProp

    or $ 19 / comment,

    well, technically a cool $ 47.50 / comment (not counting my comments),

    or $ 47.50 / rec.

    Um, yeah, I’m not getting that money.

    Was it worth it?

    Yes!

    Priceless.

    I’ve heard some ministers say they would pay to preach.

    My hope and prayer is that all ministers would say that.

    I don’t get paid for doing what I do.

    There’s a lot of freedom that comes with that.

    It’s my joy and pleasure and privilege to write to make Christ known and build up the Church.

    So long as God provides for me and gives me words to write, I hope to continue to do so.

    I Corinthians 9:15-18.

    But I hope not to get any more parking tickets.

  • John 11:6 When he had heard therefore that he was sick… (reflections on ministry, #2)

    Continuing from my last post, John 11:6 When he had heard therefore that he was sick… (reflections on ministry, #1)

    A few more reflections on ministry…

    The scope of our ministry

    There’s no way I could ever minister to everyone I see or hear of who is in need. Nor could any of you. That would be a sheer impossibility. The needs of people can be overwhelming at times, particularly as we read blog after blog here.

    We have to remember that God calls each one of us to minister to certain people. Unlike God, we’re not infinite. We’re going to see far, far too many needs out in the world. We’re not called to minister to the whole flock of God, but to a smaller flock, and perhaps we may be called to minister to a single sheep at a particular time. God alone is the Chief Shepherd. We’re undershepherds. (No, I’m not saying we are all pastors per se there; I don’t mean that.) We have to remember that the single soul is precious to the heart of God. God’s love for us is likened to the shepherd who left the flock of ninety-nine to go after and find that one lost sheep. Let’s not discount that private behind-the-scenes ministry God has for us. (Note to self.)

    Burnout comes when we start to think we have to minister to everyone we see. We can’t do that. And God won’t ever call us to do that. We must ask God to give us wisdom and discernment in this. We can trust God will equip us to minister to each soul He entrusts to us. That will stretch us, of course, which is good, because we do need to be reminded we can’t fulfill the calling He’s given us apart from total reliance on Him and His power.

    Hebrews 13:20  Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, 21  Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever.

    Of course, we can certainly be praying for those other souls, and we can and should be praying God would raise up other believers He wants to use to be His instruments of restoration in those people’s lives.

    The timing of our ministry

    There’s always the temptation for me to swoop in with help, and that help may very well be Biblically based (I’m hoping to write more on that soon), but it may be the wrong time. Once again, we must be asking God for discernment. “Is this person really ready to hear this?” “Are they mature enough?” “Is it time for me to listen a bit more, so I might have greater insight?” “Must the Holy Spirit be allowed more time to work to soften this heart to receive the word?” “Would this be too tough right now?” The right word given too soon will only be snatched up by Satan or choked away by the cares of life. The fallow ground may need to be broken up a bit more. It’s really hard to be patient in this.

    All that means we may end up watching someone get into a worse and worse state. That is probably one of the worst pains of ministry. Think of the father in the parable of the prodigal son, who waited for his son to return home. To know someone is making bad decisions and is oblivious and is inevitably making a clear path right into that pig sty, and yet in all that, God has His hand on you and is constraining you and saying, “No, not yet. This soul needs to begin to hunger for me even more. Then it will be time for you to go ahead and cast your pearls there. That soul will be sick of the corncobs, the pigs and the mud in a little while. Abide still in the same place where you are. I’ll let you know when you can go ahead.”

    That “little while” can be all but tormenting since you really do want that dear soul to avoid the pig sty at all costs. Yet you do know that trip to the pig sty is sometimes God’s ordained means to bring a wandering, rebellious soul to his senses. The Father’s times of loving discipline are precious and priceless, no, not pleasant at the time, but eternally profitable for sure. We must constantly ask to have God’s mind in these matters, so we don’t interfere or impair the Father’s refining work in another’s soul but rather work in concert with Him.

    The attitude of our ministry

    I can also be tempted to swoop in with Biblically-based help, and perhaps it is at the right time, but it’s all done in the wrong spirit and with the wrong attitude – the spirit of pride and superiority rather than humility. I can be self-serving rather than seeking to serve. I can minister out of vainglory or strife rather than out of love and gentleness. That’s far from the way of Christ, our suffering Servant, and His plan for us, His servants…

    Philippians 2:1  If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, 2  Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3  Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

    4  Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. 5  Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6  Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7  But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8  And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

    II Timothy 2:24  And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, 25  In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; 26  And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

    One of our main goals in ministry ought to be that people come to rely on Christ alone. That means they shouldn’t be relying on any person, including me. It’s very nice to be relied upon. It makes you feel good, very good, but that’s dysfunctional for all who are involved. I don’t want anyone to come to rely on me more than they rely on Christ. If that’s happening, then I’m not being Christ’s minister, am I? I must always be pointing people to Christ and not me. Forgive me, Lord, for having done that. Keep me from idols, serving self being my greatest idol.

    The impartiality of our ministry

    It’s easy to spend time with and minister to our “favorite” people. We have to confess we all have such favorite people, those souls with whom we share more of a kindred spirit, those souls with whom we are more comfortable and safe. Yet God Himself is not a respecter of persons. So if there’s a time when God is calling us to minister to someone else, we can’t ever make our “favorites” a priority, but we must respond in obedience to God’s call to minister to whomever He sends us. Peter didn’t really think much of going to the gentiles, but what if he didn’t? May God give each of us the grace not to delay in helping any robbed, stripped, wounded, lonely soul He gives us eyes to see and a heart to serve on the Jericho road.

    I remember the time I was attending a family gathering and had prayed to witness to my unsaved family members there. Well, I ended up in the hotel pool one morning and had the opportunity to witness to a total stranger. Only later as I was reading that account of Peter in Acts, did I realize how unChristlike I was in my attitude. I’d not really prayed at all for God to give me opportunities to witness to whomever He was sending me. May He open our eyes to see the harassed and helpless sheep as He does. May He give us hearts of compassion to care and weep for them. After all, He has graciously shown compassion to us and saved us so we might go out in the harvest field with Him, has He not?

    Closing thoughts

    When I hear of a need out there, no matter who you are, no matter how dear you may be to me, if you’re someone God has called me to minister to, know that I may not come to you immediately, but like Jesus, I may delay and abide in the same place where I am for a time. But know that during the delay I am anguishing with you. I may not ever end up commenting on your post, but know that I will be praying for you. I may not message you immediately, but I will try to eventually. And, when God shows me you’re really dead in some sense, but you’re not seeing it, and you’re stuck in that tomb like Lazarus (i.e.- you’re persisting in walking in the flesh), as God calls me to do so, I’m going to come round and yell at you while you’re in that tomb, “Friend, come forth!” fully trusting that the Spirit of God will come and work through my works and will quicken you and help you to get walking once again in the Spirit by His Spirit. God’s desire for you is to have Christ formed in you and to have life abundantly and His joy to the full. I am praying these things for you.

    I love the Lord and I long to minister for Him according to His leading. I don’t want to be disqualified. Know that I am weeping with you when you are weeping, except I may not think it God’s time yet to come to you, but know that I am going to the throne of grace for you, to the God who is merciful, gracious and longsuffering and is able to sympathize with our weaknesses.

    I am privileged and blessed to be working with you for your joy and the joy of Xanga/Revelife and of the nations,
    Karen

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  • John 11:6 When he had heard therefore that he was sick… (reflections on ministry, #1)

    In a recent update, I shared how I’m often tempted to be impetuous:

    I’m so like Moses. Impetuous. Wanting to take things into my own hands.

    (Granted, what Moses did wasn’t condemned . . .

    Acts 7:23  “When he was forty years old, it came into his heart to visit his brothers, the children of Israel. 24  And seeing one of them being wronged, he defended the oppressed man and avenged him by striking down the Egyptian. 25  He supposed that his brothers would understand that God was giving them salvation by his hand, but they did not understand…
    . . . yet God had a much more grand and glorious plan to rescue His people from Egypt.)

    I look on others’ burdens and I want to do something: to say something, to write something . . .

    I get impatient . . .

    I’m impetuous . . .

    I’ve gotten into trouble time and again for jumping ahead of God . . . (you think I would learn).

    On the other hand, I’ve been abundantly blessed by God whenever I’ve bent my knees and bowed my neck and waited on Him and in prayer . . . (you think I would learn).

    So often I want to do something, do anything . . . but pray.

    I’ve been itching to speak, to write . . . but God has continue to check me . . . and call me back to the closet, back to prayer.

    That post was focusing on how God wanted me to be patient, to wait on Him and to pray more. That’s one way God has been checking me.

    But there’s another way God continues to check me.

    I think it’s best summarized in John 11:

    1  Now a certain man was sick, named Lazarus, of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha. 2  (It was that Mary which anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.) 3  Therefore his sisters sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick. 4  When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby. 5  Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus. 6  When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he abode two days still in the same place where he was.

    Did you catch that?

    When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he left the place where he was.

    No, no! It doesn’t say that, does it? Instead we read

    When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he abode two days still in the same place where he was.


    We so often think of Jesus as coming to the rescue as soon as we call. Kind of like us calling 9-1-1. Well, yes and no. Yes, He does hear when we call, and He delights to hear our cries, and He does begin acting as soon as we cry (might we say He is acting before we cry, as He is the one drawing us to cry out to Him?). God knows what we need before we need it, but Jesus doesn’t necessarily respond or act in the way or in the time we might think. God’s plan is far, far bigger than what we might imagine and far, far beyond what might make sense to us.

    Isaiah 55:8  For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

    Romans 11:33  O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! 34  For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor? 35  Or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again? 36  For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen.

    Isaiah 30:18 And therefore will the LORD wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the LORD is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for him. 19  For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem: thou shalt weep no more: he will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry; when he shall hear it, he will answer thee. (I’d encourage you to keep reading that rest of the chapter.)

    God is God – and we are not. Isn’t that the lesson God continues to teach us while we remain here in these fleshly bodies?

    God’s thoughts and God’s ways and God’s wisdom and God’s knowledge and God’s timing and God’s workings are all about God and God’s glory…

    So it must be with each of us as we seek to minister in God’s Name.

    There are times when the LORD is waiting to be gracious to another soul that He will call us to wait (or, like Jesus, to have us abide two days still in the same place where we are). God may very well have us abide for a time before we visibly move, before we go to Bethany, so to speak, to help out a friend in need. (Note there: I said visibly move. I think we can correctly presume that Jesus had already been moving in prayer toward His Father’s throne, for He was absolutely certain of the will of His Father in this situation and He felt no hurry to leave the place He was at that time. In the same way, as soon as we hear of or see a need, we can begin moving in intercession for that soul.)

    For those of you who take Christian ministry seriously (I mean that in the broadest sense of the word, i.e. – we are all called to be ambassadors; we are all called to encourage one another daily, to admonish one another, etc.), when we hear of someone in need, isn’t our natural response to move, to go and do something? To write a comment. To answer that message. To say something. Don’t we sometimes end up like Moses? Or like Peter? Or like Abram and Sarai? Don’t we so often end up jumping ahead of God just because we think we have to do something, to do anything? Have to. Do we really have to? Aren’t there those times when we react out of our own will without even pausing a moment to ask God in prayer what His will is in the matter?

    Honestly, if we were in Jesus’ place and had heard about Lazarus’ sickness, wouldn’t most of us be sorely tempted to pack up ASAP and head straight away to Bethany? Yet we don’t see our Lord doing that, do we? We see Him content to wait on His Father’s timing because He had an eye to His Father’s glory.

    We also have to see that Jesus loved Lazarus, Martha and Mary. He loved them…and yet He waited.

    Just because we hear of or see a need doesn’t mean God wants us to move immediately.

    Just because we hear of or see a need doesn’t mean God wants us to do anything at all.

    Love for others sometimes means we will wait like Jesus when God is calling us to wait. (It may also mean not doing anything at all; that wasn’t the case in this incident, but it may be the case with us – more below.)

    Love for God and God’s glory means we will wait like Jesus when God is calling us to wait. (Again, it may also mean not doing anything at all. We need to seek God and what is to His glory.)

    There is a time to arise and go, but there’s also a time to abide still in the same place. May God clearly lead each of us in this.

    On my other site I’ve mentioned that one of my “strengths” is restorative. (Um, sorry, I can’t find that post. Grrr! One of my strengths is not organization, I’ve  concluded. ) Anyhow, the bottom line means I want to restore things. To fix things. To make it all better.

    That’s a very noble ambition, and it is rooted in the character of God.

    The fall has wrecked everything, and God’s plan in Jesus Christ is and has always been to bring restoration to this broken world, along with all its broken people. Our God is a God of restoration and renewal and redemption. Amen.

    When I see a problem, or when I see a friend hurting, or when I read of someone struggling, I want to be God’s instrument of restoration. (Even unbelievers have the image of God planted in them to some limited extent and they have similar desires. In much the same way, even unbelievers are grieved when they see people struggling and hurting, when they see the brokenness in the world, but, of course, they aren’t seeing the problems through God’s eyes and they aren’t relying on heavenly supplies to do anything about it and they certainly aren’t interested in the glory of God being done in all that.)

    That God-given desire in me to restore is a good desire, but since that desire has also been tainted by the fall, it must be sanctified – it must be walked out in the Spirit. In other words: not my ways, not my thoughts, not my wisdom, not my power, not my timing and not for my glory. As I minister it must be done according to God’s ways, God’s thoughts, God’s wisdom, in God’s power, in God’s timing…and always with an eye to God’s glory. That’s a mouthful for sure, but I trust you get the idea.

    In short: the best efforts wrought of my own flesh are never going to please or glorify God. In the end, ministry isn’t about results, it’s about God getting glory.

    I did have some other things here, but I’ve decided to break off the rest of that and include it in a second post here…

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