vision

  • on pilgrimage in the local church | update/prayer requests 3/21/2011

    As part of my mission statement for deerlife, I had written the following (a synthesis of my very first post here plus what I wrote about deerlife on my other site here)…

    Through deerlife, I pray God might raise up a fellowship of believers here who can support, uphold and encourage one another, so we can be mobilized and sent back into our home churches and communities on mission for Him. I am praying that those of us who have had a taste of revival in our own lives would be able to take that into our churches. I know there are some of us who are specifically called to this blogging community, but all of us are called to build on the home front as well.

    I am also praying God would begin to raise up people in the local church to disciple and equip the saints both now and as revival does come, for there will be an influx of hungry souls needing meat. We should all be praying about our responsibility and role in that.

    I love the Church and want to see her glorify God as she is intended and that starts with each one of us! I am a strong advocate of every member ministry. As Christians, we are all ministers, we are all uniquely called and equipped by God to be serving Him, His people and our neighbor in love with the gifts and resources He provides for His glory. I am praying God would be gracious to us and allow us to encourage one another to live our lives to His glory in the places He has put us here on this earth.

    In the Church today the work is great and the work is widely spread. It is also crucial for us to come together because the world is united in opposition against Christ and against those who are seeking to do His will and seeking the welfare of His Church. We are separated on the wall, far from one another in many ways. I am praying God might be gracious to us here and work through Deerlife to equip, encouragement, edify His people as we seek to walk in the works God has ordained for us and build up His Body for His glory.

    In my communications with all believers, I am always continuing to encourage them to go into their own churches to actively serve…

    So, here I am now, being sent into my own church to actively serve… to practice what I have been preaching.

    I’ve written previously about the opportunity God was opening up in women’s ministry in our church (see the end of this post) and now that door is opening wider and the way seems to be coming clearer.

    I recently had a wonderful meeting with our church’s elders. (Thank you to those who had prayed!) I am especially thankful for their love for the Lord and His Word and that all of them take seriously the charge to guard the deposit of the Gospel and to be overseers of the flock of God purchased with the precious blood of Christ.

    I took an outline along with me that night, which I’ve fleshed out more here for you…

    Christianity – religion of the SOUL.

    Henry Scougal defined Christianity “the LIFE of God in the SOUL of man.”

    There is a great distinction between our knowing about God in general terms, with our understanding of the Christian doctrines as notion – as opposed to our intimately and experientially knowing God’s person, character and work directly for and in our own souls, Christianity then becoming more than notion (using Joseph Hart’s phrase – see the later part of this post), with the Biblical doctrines coming to be written on the heart by the Holy Spirit, producing burning hearts…

    Psalm 66:5 Come and see the works of God;
    He is awesome in His deeds toward THE CHILDREN OF MAN.

    Psalm 66:16 and hear, all you who fear God,
    and I will declare what He has done FOR MY SOUL.

    As I’ve written previously, using Whitefield’s words, my deep desire is that God would raise up “sweet knots of religious friends” throughout the Church, including in my own congregation.

    In his book “The Experience Meeting,” William Williams, an 18th century Welsh Calvinistic Methodist, describes the types of meetings that were being held during The Great Awakening in both Wales and England. In the Introduction to the book, Martyn Lloyd-Jones (who was instrumental in having the book translated into English, with the translation done by his wife Bethan) explains that in both Wales and England

    independently of each other, the leaders were led to gather together the converts into little groups or societies for further teaching and nurturing in the Faith. These men of God had a great concern for the souls of the people, and realising that the parish churches were so spiritually dead that they could provide neither the fellowship nor the teaching that was necessary for these raw converts, they developed the idea of ‘religious societies’ where such people could meet together regularly every week.

    The object of the societies was primarily to provide a fellowship in which the new spiritual life and experience of the people could be safeguarded and developed. The great emphasis was primarily on experience, and the experimental knowledge of God and His love and His ways. Each member gave an account of God’s dealings with him or her, and reported on any remarkable experience, and also their sins and lapses, and so doing compared notes with one another in these respects. The societies were not ‘bible study’ groups or meetings for the discussion of theology. Of course great stress was laid on reading the Bible as well as prayer, but the more intellectual aspects of the Faith were dealt with in the preaching services and not in the societies. Here, the emphasis was on daily life and living, the fight against the world, the flesh and the devil, and the problems in the Christian’s pilgrimage through this world of sin.

    Many of us know the book of Malachi for its exhortation to bring the tithe into the storehouse, but there’s a wonderful passage later in that third chapter which Williams used in his book (p. 17), a verse you may not have ever really noticed (I know I hadn’t).

    Malachi 3:16 Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name. 17 And they shall be mine, saith the LORD of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him. (KJV)

    I love this! Consider that as those who fear the LORD come together to speak to one another and meditate on His name, the LORD listens and hears us and a book of remembrance is written! Let us not minimize the pleasure God takes in our meeting together to speak of His life in our souls! He treasures such times as He treasures us!

    As it has today, much of Christianity in the 18th century had become lifeless, very similar to Jesus’ description here:

    John 5:39 You search the Scriptures because you THINK that in THEM you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness ABOUT ME, yet YOU REFUSE TO COME TO ME that you may HAVE LIFE.

    And Jeremiah’s words:

    Jeremiah 2:11 “Has a nation changed its gods,
    Which are not gods?
    But My people have changed their Glory
    For that which does not profit.
    12  Be astonished, O heavens, at this;
    And be horribly afraid;
    Be very desolate,” says the LORD,.
    13  “For My people have committed two evils:
    They have forsaken ME,
    THE FOUNTAIN OF LIVING WATERS,
    And hewn themselves cisterns ––
    broken cisterns that can hold no water.”

    Our great need is to come to Christ and drink!

    John 7:37  On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him COME TO ME AND DRINK. 38  Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” 39  Now this he said about the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were to receive, for as yet the Spirit had not been given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.

    The devil works to distract us from this drinking! We get busy, busy, busy, doing, doing, doing – doing any and every thing else BUT drinking!

    Belief = Coming = Drinking

    Psalm 87:7 ALL my springs are in YOU.


    Isaiah 48:1-2 Hear this, O house of Jacob, Who are called by the name of israel, And have come forth from the WELLSPRINGS OF JUDAH…

    If you’ve been reading over at naphtali_deer (especially my posts tagged hunger and thirst and experiential Christianity), you’ll know this is a passion of mine. It is a passion of mine because I wandered around as a pilgrim for years and I wasn’t drinking! I had no understanding of the life of God in the soul of man, no understanding of the need to drink the Living Water. Yes, I was saved. Yes, I knew about the Holy Spirit, but I didn’t understand my desperate plight. I didn’t understand the vital need of the Holy Spirit. I didn’t understand that apart from drinking that Living Water, I could do nothing. I didn’t see myself as poor and needy. I didn’t see myself as a wretch. Oh, yes, I was doing things, I wasn’t that bad a person, but most all of that was in my own strength and my own flesh and not in the Spirit.

    And then a few years ago, God brought me to the end of myself, caused me to face my total depravity, to fail and fall flat on my face and fail (and He’s continued to do it again and again!). Thank God for His merciful kindness that leads us into those dark and dry and desert places, into that Valley of Humiliation, because those are the places we finally come to our senses and cry out to Him, “I thirst! I thirst! There is no other I desire but You! Pour down upon me I am thirsty! There is no Living Water to be found anywhere in the world, but only in You, O Lord! You are my portion!” Those are the times we begin to know the life of God in our souls!

    Job 5:17 (KJV) Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty!

    Much of what is called Christianity today has very little to do with the souls of men.

    THE IMPORTANCE OF THE SOUL  (I did a quick look through Scripture – not an all-inclusive list by any means)

    Ezekiel 18: The soul who sins shall die.
    Psalm 116 Our souls have been saved from death by faith in Christ
    I Peter 1:18-19 our souls redeemed w/ the precious blood of Christ
    I Peter 1:9, 2:7 We should be seeking/looking to the salvation of our souls
    I Peter 2:25 Christ is the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls, should we not be concerned about the state of our own souls as well as the souls of others?
    Psalm 103, Isaiah 43 Our souls are created to bless/glorify the Lord

    THE SOUL’S JOURNEY

    Psalm 84 – As Christians we are on pilgrimage in the fallen world – the Valley of Baca – the weeping, thirsty valley – there’s weeping and thirst because of the fall, because of sin coming into the world. Where do we find water/life/joy/sustenance/strength for the journey?

    Are we longing, fainting, crying out for the living God?
    Are we seeking to find our strength in Him?
    Are our hearts set on pilgrimage?
    Are we going from strength to strength? (Without Him we can do nothing)
    Do we drink of Him so we might have joy and comfort and strength for our own souls and be able to impart those gifts to others?

    Psalm 4 – The world is looking for water… Who will show us anything good? All the world’s supplies are eventually going to come up empty. The gladness in our hearts will be more than their corn and wine, and will serve as a testimony. As we drink of the Living Water, we will show Christ’s sufficiency to quench thirst and satisfy, and we will have supplies to give out the thirsty and weeping world.

    Jeremiah 50:4  “In those days and in that time, declares the LORD, the people of Israel and the people of Judah shall come together, weeping as they come, and they shall SEEK THE LORD THEIR GOD. 5  They shall ask the way to Zion, with faces turned toward it, saying, ‘Come, let us join ourselves to the LORD in an everlasting covenant that will never be forgotten.’  (see Samuel Rutherford’s “The Deliverance of the Kirk of God” - a similar movement of home meetings had been occurring in the 17th century).


    THE SOUL’S SUSTENANCE

    1. Each one coming INDIVIDUALLY Christ to eat and drink of Him – to gain strength and to go from strength to strength (e.g.- John 4-6, Psalm 27, 63, Psalms 42-43, Psalm 1), otherwise we WILL wither.

    2. Coming together in FELLOWSHIP in the Body of Christ to encourage and exhort one another w/ the Word of God – so we might go from strength to strength

    Hebrews 10:23-25 hold fast the confession of OUR faith w/ out wavering, let US consider one another in order to stir up love & good works, not forsaking the ASSEMBLING of OURSELVES together, exhorting ONE ANOTHER, so much as we see the Day approaching.

    Romans 15:14 full of goodness, filled w/ all knowledge, able to admonish ONE ANOTHER

    Colossians 3:16 let the Word of God dwell in you richly, teaching, admonishing, singing…

    Ephesians 5:15-21 Be filled w/ the Spirit, SPEAK to ONE ANOTHER… It is FOOLISH if we do not. We are WISE when we do use our time in this way.

    Hebrews 3:12-15 Exhort ONE ANOTHER daily so we will not be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

    Hebrews 12:12-17 strengthen, make straight, look diligently

    Philemon 1:7, 20 MUTUAL REFRESHMENT

    3. Reviewing CHRISTIAN HISTORY

    Hebrews 11-12:1-2 Look to the cloud of witnesses (past and present). In the Bible itself as well as throughout Church history. I talked for some time about my love of Christian biography and the impact it’s had on me. (See my tags Church history and biography here on deerlife and bio and Church history on my other site.)

    I Corinthians 10, Romans 15:4 These things are written for our example & learning – so we would not be ignorant, not forget God and become idolaters, tempt Christ and fall.

    THE SOUL’S BATTLES (again, not an all-inclusive list)

    Luke 21 must endure to possess our souls
    Hebrews 11:16 to look to the heavenly country, not to settle for the lesser earthly country
    temptation to gain the world and lose our souls
    I Peter 2:11 fleshly lusts war against the soul
    Hebrews 12:1-3 lay aside sin, run w/ endurance, we can become weary and discouraged in our souls as we battle sin.
    Psalm 23 our souls must be restored
    Psalm 119:36, 141 Keep Christ as our refuge, not to be ensnared or trapped for false refuge
    Psalm 116 the soul needs rest
    I John 5 keep from idols
    Hebrews 12:15 not being diligent, fall short of the grace of God, selling our birthright like Esau

    As we meet together, my hope and prayer is that as we each individually drink deeper of Christ, we can come together and strengthen and refresh one another, so we might keep drinking and persevere with joy on our pilgrimage, even as we go through the Valley of Baca and the night of doubt and sorrow…

    Through the Night of Doubt and Sorrow
    Bernhardt S. Ingemann tr. Sabine Baring-Gould

    Through the night of doubt and sorrow,
    onward goes the pilgrim band,
    singing songs of expectation,
    marching to the promised land.
    Clear before us through the darkness
    gleams and burns the guiding light:
    trusting God we march together
    stepping fearless through the night.

    One the light of God’s own presence,
    o’er his ransomed people shed,
    chasing far the gloom and terror,
    brightening all the path we tread:
    one the object of our journey,
    one the faith which never tires,
    one the earnest looking forward,
    one the hope our God inspires.

    One the strain the lips of thousands
    lift as from the heart of one;
    one the conflict, one the peril,
    one the march in God begun:
    one the gladness of rejoicing
    on the far eternal shore,
    where the one almighty Father
    reigns in love for evermore.

    Onward, therefore, pilgrim brothers,
    onward with the cross our aid;
    bear its shame, and fight its battle,
    till we rest beneath its shade.
    Soon shall come the great awaking,
    soon the rending of the tomb;
    then the scattering of all shadows,
    and the end of toil and gloom.

    * * *

    I unfolded much of that before the elders, who were very enthusiastic and encouraging. And then they helped to hone it down (a much needed thing, given the multitude of thoughts swirling in my brain at any moment in time and my difficulty with being succinct/focused), so each week we meet should will look something like this:

    1. A MAIN SCRIPTURE PASSAGE with a clear objective/aim that can be summarized in a single sentence. (Yes, yes – back to homiletics!)
    2. A HYMN to complement the passage.
    3. A BIOGRAPHICAL EXAMPLE as illustration.
    4. A time of PRAYER.

    My deepest hope and prayer is that as we fellowship and meet together, God will knit our hearts closer to Him and to one another, so we might be able to tell what God has done for each of our souls from week to week (Psalms 66:16: Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul), so we might encourage and exhort each other, so we might go from strength to strength on our pilgrimage to Mount Zion, to the Celestial City (Psalm 84/Bunyan’s “Pilgrim’s Progress”)

    For those who are led to pray, I would appreciate your prayers for:

    focused time to study and pray and prepare
    clear leading as to the Scripture passages to study
    greater love for the women
    humility and reliance on the Holy Spirit
    hungry and thirsty women
    scheduling the day and time to meet

    I do believe we’ll eventually get to the book of John (which is what I initially felt led to do), but for now, it has come to seem good to start with an overview of the soul’s pilgrimage and God’s means of sustenance as we travel through the Valley of Baca (the Word of God, prayer and fellowship with believers – including the great cloud of witnesses).

    Needless to say, I am very excited about this, because this is what I absolutely love. Throughout this whole process I have been profoundly humbled. First, because of the journey of chastening God has had me on over the past few years. And second, because it is a high privilege and responsibility to give out the words of life. And that sense of humility is a very good and very necessary thing because I know I too easily become full of myself – and whenever I am full of myself I cannot be full of Christ’s Holy Spirit!

    I am praying each of you will be obedient to God’s call to you to serve Him in your local churches for the building up of the Body of Christ for His glory and for your joy.

    Thank you for your fellowship and prayers.

    Psalm 115:1  Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory,
    for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!

    Yours in Christ,
    Karen

    Related: Where do you go when the world is unlovely? (Psalm 84 & the theology of Biblical counseling)

  • Update & prayer requests – November 1, 2010 (I want to be a happy sower)

    If you’ve been reading my other blog, you know that the past couple weeks have been a struggle for me. (Please my posts here, here, here, here and here and here.) I’m not going to recount all that here, but I will say during that time I felt about as pressed and tempted as I have at any time since I’ve been saved, and though not having been afflicted or burdened as much as Paul was, I felt for the first time that I could genuinely relate to Paul’s words in II Corinthians 1:

    8  For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. 9  Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. 10  He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.

    The week before last I pulsed

    By the grace of God I will endure all things for the elect, and not only endure, but endure with joy. 2 Tim 2:1-13, Col 1:9-18.

    Then later that same day I expanded on that request in my post asking a hard thing.

    I had seen I was beginning to look to earthly results for my joy and knew I was headed in a very bad direction, very bad.

    My face was not radiant because I was not looking to Him. Psalms 34:5: Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. I was looking pretty ugly and feeling joyless.

    After that time I attended a conference at which I received a hand-out on evangelism. It broke the process into three phrases: cultivating, sowing and harvesting. This was truly a God-sent blessing as I read this under the description of the sowing phase:

    the ELEMENT: SEED = God’s Word . . . The Gospel
    the EXPLANATION: Speaks to the mind w/ revelation. Focus is on communication.
    the EMPHASIS: Proclamation of truth . . . Giving understanding of the Gospel

    As soon as I read that, I thought something like, “This is me! That is just what I love to do and thrive on!” I’m not saying I haven’t ever been involved in or wouldn’t ever be involved in cultivating the soil (human hearts) or harvesting the crop (the reproduced life of Christ in hearts), but God has given me a passion and love to sow seeds, and more particularly to sow seeds among those who are already in the church to shore them up in their faith, so their faith might grow deeper. (Notice that Paul told Timothy to do the work of an evangelist and yet Timothy was a pastor.)

    Since that time I’ve been praying, “If You’ve made me a sower, then I want to be a happy sower! Lord, make me a happy sower!”

    A few days after that I was brought down again and had to scratch and claw back and immerse myself in the Word and God’s promises and to remember that I could always trust God as I am faithful to do what He’s called me to do and not to obsess about the harvest or results.

    This is a continuing battle but I’d not had such an extended and intense period of struggle and temptation with it since over a year ago, when God brought joy to my soul in a way He’d never done before. I’ve known His joy in increasing measure since that time, and I’ve come to know that no one or nothing compares. No one. Nothing. So this whole thing continue to grieve my soul as it grieved His Spirit, I know.

    I am also more convinced than ever that the messages of joy and assurance are so vital to the church since I keep meeting joyless and unassured Christians over and over and over again.

    Jesus Christ came that we might have life and have life abundantly. He came that our joy might be full. The Gospel is a message of great joy to all peoples.

    There is so much more I’ve been wanting to write about all this. I hope and pray the Lord will give me the opportunity to do so. This is not only a vital message for others, but I have to say that it blesses my soul to write about God’s love and the joy He makes available to all of His children through Christ and it also brings God honor and glory as we remind one another that Christ alone is our true joy and His love for us endures forever and we need not doubt or fear or waver in our faith.  What glory! What other love compares to Him! What other joy compares to Him!

    I’ve been reflecting on Isaiah 55 in the past day. I put my iPod touch onto shuffle yesterday and it ended up on a John Piper message Preaching in the Power of the Spirit. It was really excellent and I highly recommend it, but near the end he referenced verses 10 and 11 from Isaiah 55, and since that time I’ve been pondering those (as well as the whole chapter):

    10  “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
    and do not return there but water the earth,
    making it bring forth and sprout,
    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
    11  so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
    it shall not return to me empty,
    but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
    and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

    Gospel seed is a gift from God. (Thank You, Lord, for every seed You give me!) I am learning to count Him and that seed ever more precious. I can trust God will accomplish His purposes and it will succeed as He wills.

    One of God’s purposes is that I steward that seed well and do so with joy. So, as He gives it to me, I want to be a faithful steward and sower of His seed, to persevere in sowing seed with joy for the sake of the elect.

    There’s another thing I’ve been pondering. On my post here, David (TravelingStranger) commented, “God bless; keep up the holy work.”

    Holy work. Holy work! The Gospel is holy because God is holy. Anytime we proclaim Christ, we are engaged in holy work. What a wonder that God chooses fallible, broken and feeble vessels like us, but we know it is all to bring God maximum glory (I Cor 1, II Cor 4). What a privilege and joy! As soon as I come to my senses and see the holiness of what I’m doing and the preciousness of the seed I’m sowing, I am melted down and can’t help but weep. I love Jesus and despite my recent wandering, I have known Him as my chief joy and my greatest treasure. I rejoice in Him and treasure Him even more today as I’ve seen His love constraining me back into His fold, to feel His embrace, to hear Him rejoicing over me with singing and quieting me with His love.

    Throughout the day today I could particularly relate to the apostle Paul’s words:

    And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling…

    Realizing the holiness of the task at hand, the awesome responsibility we have, and the hungry souls needing to be fed I was humbled. I knew that in and of myself I could do nothing. That’s a good place to be. And whenever we’re not there we need to ask Him to put us there once again.

    As I said, I’ve been pondering Isaiah 55, and there’s more I would like to write on it, though I’ve not really had time to sit with as much as I’d like, except to say I can’t help but look at verses 4 and 5 and 12 and 13 and see how the Church is in dire need of truly knowing the deep joy of our salvation and having full assurance of God’s love for us:

    4  Behold, I made him a witness to the peoples,
    a leader and commander for the peoples.
    5  Behold, you shall call a nation that you do not know,
    and a nation that did not know you shall run to you,
    because of the LORD your God, and of the Holy One of Israel,
    for he has glorified you.

    12 For you shall go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;
    the mountains and the hills before you
    shall break forth into singing,
    and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
    13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;
    instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;
    and it shall make a name for the LORD,
    an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

    If we continue joyless and unassured in our faith, are any nations really going to run to us? If we aren’t having joy and peace in believing and breaking forth into singing, are any nations going to have joy and peace in believing and break forth into singing? Are they going to have any interest in a God whose people are miserable and whining all the time? Are we going to be making a name for the LORD (other than bringing reproach on His Name )?

    However, if we know God and His love in increasing measure so we might be filled with His joy and walk in deeper assurance, in both the dark and cloudy and stormy days as well as in the bright and sunny and calm days, what a witness that will be of God’s everlasting Gospel!

    I do appreciate your friendship and your continuing prayers and support as I strive to be a happy sower by the grace of God at work in me.

    One more thing I would ask you to pray about is for wisdom and discernment for me regarding my place in my local church. Long story short, it appears God is presenting an opportunity to me to have an impact on the women’s ministry there. I want to walk in obedience to God’s will for me and not to jump ahead of Him in this. I tend to jump ahead rather than waiting on Him. That was something our Father has had to discipline me several times in the past. This time around He gave me grace to be able to wait and pray, and I did not push, but now a door has been opening by His hand. (This is what I was referring to in my post Trust, delight, commit (Psalm 37:3-5) a couple days ago.)

    I am also privileged to pray for you, so please feel free to leave requests in the comments below and/or message me.

    The Lord has rejoiced my soul and made me glad!
    Karen

  • Update/prayer requests – October 7, 2010

    In my last real update on July 26, I mentioned that I was feeling

    the need to be taking time more alone with Him, not only to speak to Him but also to hear Him…

    This is one reason I’ve not been posting as much on any of my blogs, including this one.

    My obligation is first and foremost to seeking the Lord and His will for me. I could feel guilty about not posting or feel like I’m a quitter or a failure for not following through with blogging, and I confess that at times I have felt that, but I realize those thoughts are not from the Lord, but are coming from my flesh and the devil and the world. Jesus Christ is the only One whose expectations I need to be concerned about. When you post something, you feel you accomplish something, you have something to point to and can say, “Look at me! I wrote this.” (Of course, if there’s anything good I posted, it wasn’t me, but the Lord at work in me.) Or, when you post, you put yourself out there and feel like you might get noticed and commended. Those are all things that God is wanting me to slay by the power of His Spirit. My desires to be noticed and for attention are ungodly and evil desires. By the grace of God at work in me, I’m going to fight my flesh and try not to post something just to post something, but only to post as the Lord is laying something on my heart. Same thing w/ making comments on others’ blogs. And to clarify: though I will recommend posts from this site, I rarely post comments on others’ blogs from this site, but I do that from my other site on occasion. (Yes, I confess deerlife does make visits  w/ another dear deer and does banter with an unnamed llama from time to time. )

    Now, more about my journey to prayer…

    A few years back, the Lord had been trying to get my attention about my need to pray, and, well, I knew that in my head of course, since we all pretty much know we should be praying from the time we become Christians. And, as most of us have done at one time or another, I’d made resolutions to pray, but it took God repeatedly showing me (hammering me) over and over and over again about my total depravity, my total insufficiency and my total inability to do anything apart from Him. That included a lot of failures, frustrations, humiliation and tears. Until we come to the end of ourselves, we don’t see the necessity of prayer and of our need to seek Him. So long as we can get by pretty well on our own, we won’t get down on our knees in humble dependence and cry out to Him for living water and daily bread and His Holy Spirit. Thank God for His sovereign hand at work in drawing me to Himself through his loving Fatherly discipline.

    So now, after all that time, the Holy Spirit has been softening my hard heart sufficiently so those seeds are finally beginning to sprout a bit, so I might really begin to understand in small measure the utter necessity of prayer and seek out time to spend with God in prayer. This calling to prayer intensified early in 2009 (I wrote about it here, and that was why I started up tent of meeting, my other website devoted to prayer for revival). And it has further intensified and expanded since that time. In short, God has been giving me more of a passion to be praying for and encouraging workers to be sent into the harvest and praying for His Gospel to go to all the nations; I’ve alluded to that in a few posts on naphtali_deer, my other blog (e.g. – see here and here). I’m not exactly sure where all of that is going in my life, but I am finally seeing that the Gospel going to the nations is for our joy, for the joy of the nations and for God’s joy and is part of God’s glorious plan to exalt Himself. About a week ago, I stood outside and looked up into heaven and said something like, “God, why did it take me so long to get this?!” I cry now as I consider this. I mean, I’ve been a Christian for almost 28 years now. Of course, I knew we should be supporting missions, I knew the Biblical teaching that God had a plan to save some from every tribe, every language, every people and every nation (e.g. – Rev. 5), but only when God and the mission of God got a hold of my heart did I really begin to see. (Not that I see all yet today, I know that…) As I’ve mentioned, I am a slow learner, but thanks be to God, He is persevering and longsuffering with hard-hearted and stubborn sinners like me and His mercies and kindnesses will follow us and pursue us and His Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth and will lead us in the way we should go. This is one reason I am so passionate about young people not wasting their lives. I wasted much of mine. I was lukewarm for too long. One minute of lukewarmness is too long! Thanks be to God, He has been gracious to me and has been working to restore the years the locusts of my self-absorption and spiritual dullness had eaten up.

    I confess that I continue to fumble and slip and slide as I seek to go up to meet with Him on His holy mountain, but I know there is grace abounding for sinners like me there and He never casts out those who come to Him, He never despises those who are humble and seeking to worship Him in Spirit and in truth. I love to spend time with Him. And I know He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. He has also begun to show me that If we are not asking hard things of Him, we are insulting Him and limiting Him. Also, if we are not persevering in prayer, we do not show we consider Him precious enough to spend time with Him and we think we are adequate apart from His resources. These are just a few scattered thoughts here. My heart is full of Him. He is faithful to hear and to save. And He is calling us to watch in prayer with Him so we will not grow faint. To whom else can we go? He has the words of eternal life. He is our life!

    What about deerlife….

    My intent in starting deerlife was for mutual edification and encouragement, but for the past several months, most of my writing has been taking place on my other blog, so If I’m not posting here, I would encourage you to be reading there. And if you have a heart for prayer, I encourage you to visit tent of meeting, though I’ve not been posting there as often either.

    I also invite those of you who feel led to do so, to please message me with prayer requests and the like. Some of you I know better than others, but I believe this is one way God does want me to be supporting you at the current time. I hope I will have the opportunity to blog here more regularly, but I can’t say at the moment. I’m leaving that in the hands of the Lord.

    I also strongly encourage you to be seeking out and praying for fellowship in your own churches and communities. I think that is one of the greatest weaknesses of the Church today; we are lacking the fellowship God intended us to have. That leads into my next point…

    A way you can be praying for me…

    As I mentioned several months ago here, I’d begun to take some steps toward developing friendships and fellowship in our current church home. I would appreciate continued prayer for that. I’m not going to repeat all that, but I’d encourage you to read my thoughts in that post as you have opportunity to do so.

    In light of that, I’d like to share an excerpt from the “Memoir and Remains of R. M. M’Cheyne” by Andrew Bonar. I really like Bonar’s description of how M’Cheyne viewed his friendships and the opportunities he had with people. I found this challenging and I think it really speaks for itself as to how you can be praying for me (and how we can be praying for one another) as I continue to step out in faith to develop and cultivate friendships in our churches (and elsewhere) and how we all ought to making the most of every opportunity we have here.

       His visits to friends were times when he sought to do good to their souls; and never was he satisfied unless he could guide the conversation to bear upon the things of eternity. When he could not do so, he generally remained silent. And yet his demeanour was easy and pleasant to all, exhibiting at once meekness of faith, and delicacy of feeling. There was in his character a high refinement that came out in poetry and true politeness; and there was something in his graces that reminded one of his own remark, when explaining “the spices” of Song iv. 16, when he said, that “some believers were a garden that had fruit trees, and so were useful; but we ought also to have spices and so be attractive.” Wishing to convey his grateful feelings to a fellow labourer in Dundee, he sent him a Hebrew Bible, with these few lines prefixed :—

    Anoint mine eyes,
    O holy Dove!
    That I may prize
    This book of love.

    Unstop mine ear,
    Made deaf by sin,
    That I may hear
    Thy voice within.

    Break my hard heart,
    Jesus, my Lord,
    In the inmost part
    Hide thy sweet word.

    It was on a similar occasion, in 1838, that he wrote the lines, ” Thy word is a lamp unto my feet.” At another time, sitting under a shady tree, and casting his eye on the hospitable dwelling in which he found a pleasant retreat, his grateful feelings flowed out to his kind friend in the lines that follow:—

    “PEACE TO THIS HOUSE.”

    Long may peace within this dwelling
    Have its resting place;
    Angel shields all harm repelling—
    God, their God of grace.

    May the dove-like Spirit guide them
    To the Upright land!
    May the Saviour-shepherd feed them
    From his gentle hand!

       Never was there one more beloved as a friend, and seldom any whose death could cause so many to feel as if no other friend could ever occupy his room. Some, too, can say that so much did they learn from his holy walk, “that it is probable a day never passes wherein they have not some advantage from his friendship.”

       I find written on the leaf of one of his note-books, a short memorandum. ” Rules worth remembering.—When visiting in a family, whether ministerially or otherwise, speak particularly to the strangers about eternal things. Perhaps God has brought you together just to save that soul.” And then he refers to some instances which occurred to himself, in which God seemed to honour a word spoken in this incidental way.

    Thank you…and a final request…

    I thank God for each of you and for your friendship, fellowship and support. I appreciate your continued prayers for clarity and wisdom for me in all things, including my blogging, specifically that I would not rely on myself but on Christ alone and seek the wisdom that comes from above. In Bible Study Fellowship we’ve been studying through the book of Isaiah and for chapter 5 we were challenged to ask ourselves which of the woes applies to us. For numerous reasons, I answered the woe about those who see themselves as wise in their own eyes for I know it’s far too tempting and too easy for me to get puffed up and carried away with my own ideas or thoughts.

    Isaiah 5:21: Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes,
    and shrewd in their own sight!

    I Corinthians 1:26  For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27  But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28  God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29  so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. 30  He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, whom God made our wisdom and our righteousness and sanctification and redemption. 31  Therefore, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

    Romans 11:36  For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

    Yours in Christ, pressing on to know Him by His grace alone,
    Karen

    Related:

    a challenge to you (God has some secret ones in all places)
    Naphtali News: the Ministry of the Word & Prayer

    Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.