impatience

  • update/prayer requests – July 8, 2010

       
    Though I’d sensed a call to more concerted prayer over a year ago (please see part 2 of this post), over the past several weeks, the Lord has increasingly impressed on me the importance of prayer and tarrying in prayer, hence my most recent posts:

    Yesterday I ended up rereading some of the first portion of Exodus, including these verses:

    Exodus 2:11  One day, when Moses had grown up, he went out to his people and looked on their burdens, and he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his people. 12  He looked this way and that, and seeing no one, he struck down the Egyptian and hid him in the sand.

    I’m so like Moses. Impetuous. Wanting to take things into my own hands.

    (Granted, what Moses did wasn’t condemned . . .

    Acts 7:23  “When he was forty years old, it came into his heart to visit his brothers, the children of Israel. 24  And seeing one of them being wronged, he defended the oppressed man and avenged him by striking down the Egyptian. 25  He supposed that his brothers would understand that God was giving them salvation by his hand, but they did not understand…

    . . . yet God had a much more grand and glorious plan to rescue His people from Egypt.)

    I look on others’ burdens and I want to do something: to say something, to write something . . .

    I get impatient . . .

    I’m impetuous . . .

    I’ve gotten into trouble time and again for jumping ahead of God . . . (you think I would learn).

    On the other hand, I’ve been abundantly blessed by God whenever I’ve bent my knees and bowed my neck and waited on Him and in prayer . . . (you think I would learn).

    So often I want to do something, do anything . . . but pray.

    I’ve been itching to speak, to write . . . but God has continue to check me . . . and call me back to the closet, back to prayer.

    Thank God for His loving discipline.

    There are things on my heart I believe God has put there for me to speak and to write, yet He’s continued to check me. It’s not yet time to speak and to write those things.

    I admit I get frustrated with that at times. (Understatement.)

    Yesterday afternoon I printed out a post which I’d written up a while ago and had laid aside, a post I really want to finish. It’s about joy in our ministry. It’s so key. I see so many people plodding along, ministering without joy, and I know that God has so graciously blessed me in that (still learning) and I do want to pass along to others how He’s been helping me and what He’s been teaching me. So I really expected to do a little editing on that post.

    Couldn’t do it. The Lord checked me.

    I even opened up a new blog entry. I have ideas galore in my head. (Nothing new there.)

    Couldn’t do it. Couldn’t even write a word. The Lord checked me.

    I was distressed over this, but I knew without a doubt I would be in disobedience to the Lord if I did any writing at that point. Any.

    I’ve dedicated my blogging to Him. If I’m not writing according to His lead, what’s it worth? I can gain the whole world, but lose my soul . . . I don’t want to be a Tekoite noble.  

    Though I’d already spent some time earlier in the day with the Lord in prayer, I knew I had to go back into the closet again.

    So, after a bit of restlessness (and after the World Cup match was over ), I realized I had to get outside and get away from the laptop.

    I went out to one of my favorite places for walking and meeting with God.

    While I was walking, I had David Crowder playing on the iPod and “For the Glory of It All” came up:

    I found myself singing along:

    Oh the Glory of it all is:
    he came here
    For the rescue of us all
    that we may live
    for the glory of it all
    for the glory of it all

    And then I had to, had to, say something like this to the Lord:

    If it is to Your glory that I remain in prayer and not to write, as much as my flesh wants to do that (You know all things!), then by Your grace I will do so, I will remain in this closet, to Your glory. I will wait on You, I will tarry in prayer, until You release me to write, if You ever do so.

    if You ever do so. . . .

    Yes, I said something like that.

    It’s somewhat disconcerting to put yourself out there before God and say that.

    It’s somewhat disconcerting to put yourself out there before God and say, “Do with me what You will,” but if you are His, you know you can’t do anything less than that. That’s the Holy Spirit of Christ in us that is fighting against our flesh. The Spirit of Christ who sought always to be about His Father’s business. The Spirit of Christ which said, “Not My will, but Yours, be done” to His Father in the Garden of Gethsemane, with sweat as drops of blood. O, thanks be to God for His mighty Holy Spirit who works in us to will and to do of His good pleasure, who does in us what we are powerless to do on our own!

    Yet I know that whatever God is directing me to do is for my good. Whatever. All of it. No matter what my flesh might be telling me. God’s ways and God’s thoughts are higher than mine and His ways are always best. Always. And God’s plans for us are all about maximizing His glory. So, for me to balk at His call to prayer, would be to rob Him of His glory.

    The Lord won’t give His children peace or rest until we submit to Him. Wholly. I will also add here that there are times when our consciences can become seared and our hearts hardened to His voice. Let’s not even go there! May He grant us grace that our hearts would remain soft and warm toward Him and His will for us!

    After that, I began to think through the Scripture once again to instances God called His people to a time of waiting and/or waiting prayer (I’d already done this earlier in the day, hence I say once again). Jericho (see my post here). Nehemiah. Moses. Abram and Sarai. Esther. The early Church. And so on. It seems you can find examples on just about every page of Scripture.

    Yet don’t we want to do any and all things but wait on the Lord and tarry in prayer?

    While I sat there in the park in prayer with the Lord, not specifically asking for anything but trying to rest in Him, reflecting on His sovereign love, power and grace, He sweetly and suddenly showed me something that was missing from another post I’ve been wanting to write, something I didn’t even know was missing – and something I wasn’t even asking for then – since He’d given me the grace to put aside any thoughts about my writing at that point.

    All I can say is that it was one of those Job 42 moments.

    1  Then Job answered the LORD and said:

    2  “I know that you can do all things,
    and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
    3  ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’
    Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
    things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
    4  ‘Hear, and I will speak;
    I will question you, and you make it known to me.’
    5  I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
    but now my eye sees you;
    6  therefore I despise myself,
    and repent in dust and ashes.”

    Certainly my loving Father knew what I needed before I asked Him. If I hadn’t taken that time alone with Him in prayer, would I have received that gift from Him? I don’t think so.

    It was also a confirmation that there is a time to write, and when it’s time, He will clearly let me know that . . .

    In regard to prayer requests, first I would ask you to pray that I would be disciplined in prayer: to willingly submit myself to remaining in the closet for as long as God would have me there. With that come my thoughts, “Oh, that means I can’t write so much.” I confess I like to write. I love to write. Yes, I do find writing challenging, and it’s not been without difficulty and I have to continue to ask God to purify my motives for writing, yet I find writing an act of worship because I truly grow in grace and knowledge of Him as I write and I also enjoy the Lord more and more as I write more and more of Him.

    I know I need not ever fear what God is calling me to do, for He loves me and He does all things well. He has plans that are much more wonderful for me than I could imagine.

    Yet, if God is calling me to that private work of prayer, then I must stay there as long as He deems, and put aside public ministry. My life is not my own. My ministry is now my own. If I’m not praying when my Lord asks, what kind of servant am I? What kind of minister can I really be if I’m not doing that one thing that is necessary, taking time to sit at His feet like Mary?

    A second prayer request is that I might have God’s wisdom as I need to speak to someone about a sensitive situation. I don’t like confronting people, but it’s clear God has been directing me to speak to this person as their spiritual welfare is at stake, so it doesn’t really matter what I like. And just to make it clear to me, God had me hear a sermon Sunday morning on Galatians 6.

    1  Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2  Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 3  For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4  But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. 5  For each will have to bear his own load.

    Loving our neighbor and bearing one another’s burdens does involve speaking the truth in love. But it also involves time in the closet in preparation. I confess that in this case I’m at a loss at this point as to how to proceed, so I am in desperate need of wisdom. So, in contrast to the impetuousness I described above, I’ve been driven to pray more than I might otherwise. I am trusting the only-wise God to supply abundant wisdom for me from His riches in glory and direct me to speak in His way and in His time.

    I so appreciate your fellowship and prayers.

    If there are any ways I can be praying for you, please feel free to leave a comment below and/or message me. As I said when I set up this blog, I would like this to be a place where we can encourage one another as we work together to build the wall, as we walk with and serve the Lord.

    Yours in Christ for the glory of God,
    Karen

    Related posts

    on prayer:

    on my calling/blogging:

    Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  • quick update/prayer requests – June 1, 2010

    Dear friends in Christ,

    I’ve found myself in the midst of writing another post on transparency and intimacy in our relationships within the Body of Christ as a follow-up to these:

    I’d appreciate your prayers for writing (as usual).

    However, as I’ve been working on this post, as sometimes happens, the Holy Spirit convicted me once more of my lack of love for my brothers and sisters in Christ. (Blogging for my own sanctification = Priceless. As has been said, if the preacher is not preaching the message first to himself, then what kind of effect can his message really have on his congregation, what kind of life will inhabit his words if the words haven’t broken him first?)

    How could I not be convicted when I found myself writing and then asking myself questions like these (I’m not actually sure these will make it to the final post or not…I’ve been changing it up a bit since I first wrote these, but haven’t gotten to editing this section of the post yet):

    When we don’t have such fellowship with our brothers and sisters who are in the light, can we say we are God’s beloved children?

    When we don’t have such fellowship with our brothers and sisters who are in the light, can we say we are walking in love toward them?

    When we don’t have such fellowship with our brothers and sisters who are in the light, can we say we are loving them as Christ loved us?

    When we don’t have such fellowship with our brothers and sisters who are in the light, can we say we are a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God?

    The Lord once again caught me in my impatience toward, lack of love for, and judgmental attitudes toward those in the Body who may not believe exactly the same as I do. I’m not talking about differences in essential doctrine. To tell you the truth, I’m pretty sure I’ve never met anyone who believes exactly the same as me on the nonessentials. Even though I highly value unity in the Body, I still keep tripping up and trying to remake people into my own image. Grrr! Make war against self! Make war against the lust to scheme and manipulate! Yes, I am so much a Jacob. *sigh*

    Sure, there are things I can pray for people that I believe they ought to be growing in, but I can’t be the Holy Spirit to them. And besides that, who’s to say my understanding is 100% correct. Please! Self-centered much?! All I know is that I’m to lift up Christ, to present the Word of God as the Spirit shows me and empowers me, and to do so in love (it’s not really the Spirit’s work if it’s not bathed in love, is it?!), to pray expectantly (yes, pray more!) and to be patient and to trust the Lord to work as He wills and not maneuver and usurp the Holy Spirit’s unique place in convicting, teaching and guiding His people into all truth – that’d be His truth, not my version of it.

    Once more I Corinthians 16:13-14 came to mind:

    13  Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14  Let all that you do be done in love. 

    Yes, we’re to be watchful, stand firm in the faith, and be strong…but along with that we’re to let all we do be done IN LOVE!

    Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner…I have a hard time loving like You loved me.

    I John 4:20  If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21  And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. 

    Um, brain drain…there was something else I’d wanted to share here, I think, but I can’t remember it right now. Well, this is plenty, and this is plenty important.

    So, I guess this is my small step of obedience into a little more transparency. (Practice what you blog, or rather blog what you practice, right? Isn’t that part of what James was talking about ~ James 3…)

    Thank you for coming here to read. I thank and praise God for each of you and very much appreciate your prayers and your kind words and support. 

    If there are any ways I can be praying for you, please let me know.

    Yours in Christ, a sinner saved and sustained by His grace alone,

    Karen


  • ministry & perseverance (Even after Kadesh “Moses did as the LORD commanded.” Will I?)

    Most of us are familiar with the events of Numbers 20 at Kadesh. The Israelites were whining and murmuring (once again) because there was no water.

    1  And the people of Israel, the whole congregation, came into the wilderness of Zin in the first month, and the people stayed in Kadesh. And Miriam died there and was buried there.

    2  Now there was no water for the congregation. And they assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron. 3  And the people quarreled with Moses and said, “Would that we had perished when our brothers perished before the LORD! 4  Why have you brought the assembly of the LORD into this wilderness, that we should die here, both we and our cattle? 5  And why have you made us come up out of Egypt to bring us to this evil place? It is no place for grain or figs or vines or pomegranates, and there is no water to drink.”

    6  Then Moses and Aaron went from the presence of the assembly to the entrance of the tent of meeting and fell on their faces. And the glory of the LORD appeared to them, 7  and the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, 8  “Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them and give drink to the congregation and their cattle.” 9  And Moses took the staff from before the LORD, as he commanded him.

    We can see here that Moses started out well…He and Aaron headed straight to the tent of meeting and fell on their faces before the LORD in prayer. The glory of the LORD appeared. The LORD gave them clear directions. But then what happened?

    10  Then Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said to them, “Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?” 11  And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their livestock.

    Hmm…Moses didn’t finish so well there, did he?

    I can see myself in that. I start off well and for various reasons don’t always end up finishing well. My flesh takes over…

    I also know I’ve had times I’ve been tempted at times to hit the rock, when I was only to speak to it.
    I must say I have spoken to the rock when I’ve only been supposed to speak to it.
    I lost patience and did not trust God to work in His way and in His time.
    I reaped what I’ve sown.

    I know I’ve been tempted in recent days to hit the rock, when I’m only supposed to speak to it.
    I know how easy it would be to hit the rock. Too easy.
    I’ve been close to hitting it…very close…too close.
    I’m in danger of losing patience and not trusting God to work in His way and in His time.
    LORD God, guard my mouth, hold my hand back. Help me to trust You to work in Your way and Your time.
    Help me to be obedient to Your commandments.

    (That’s not my main emphasis today here, yet these are things I’ve been struggling with once again, so I’m including them here…)

    We know the rest of Moses’ story. Because Moses struck the rock twice instead of speaking to it, God spoke these words to Moses:

    12  And the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.” 13  These are the waters of Meribah, where the people of Israel quarreled with the LORD, and through them he showed himself holy.

    Any time we don’t do things in God’s prescribed way, the LORD is not hallowed and there will be consequences for that…Yes, God is gracious to us, and He uses all things (even our sins) for our good and His glory, yet it is true that we will reap what we sow, and, as a result, there may very well be dire consequences (e.g.- consider David’s sin with Bathsheba and the ensuing cover-up).

    If we stopped right there and focused on the fact that Moses wasn’t able to lead Israel into the promised land, not even to put a foot there, this would be a very depressing story…(Yes, I know Moses ended up there at the Transfiguration…)

    I know if I were Moses I would be tempted to say, “Ok, LORD, that’s enough. If I can’t get into the promised land, why bother?” (self-centered much?)

    I will confess to you that my promised land is revival coming to the Church. And I can too easily make that an idol.

    If I knew I would never see revival come in my lifetime, I know I would be tempted to say, “Ok, LORD, that’s enough. If I’m not going to see revival, why bother? Why bother if I won’t get to cross over Jordan?”

    (Yes, I know Moses did pray to the Lord about his not being able to go into the promised land in Deut. 3, see more below.)

    However, that’s not the attitude we see in Moses after Kadesh. After his disobedience in hitting the rock, in spite of the LORD’s clear proclamation that Moses would not be going into the promised land, we find Moses picking up in obedience to the LORD’s commands.

    Here are a few instances. (You can go and read the surrounding context of each.)

    Numbers 20:27  Moses did as the LORD commanded.

    Numbers 21:9  So Moses made a bronze serpent and set it on a pole.

    Numbers 26:3  …as the LORD commanded Moses.

    Numbers 27:22 And Moses did as the LORD commanded him.

    Numbers 29:40 So Moses told the people of Israel everything just as the LORD had commanded Moses.

    Numbers 31:31: And Moses and Eleazar the priest did as the LORD commanded Moses.

    Numbers 36:5  And Moses commanded the people of Israel according to the word of the LORD…

    Numbers 36:10: The daughters of Zelophehad did as the LORD commanded Moses…

    (I’d just like to note that this pattern of obedience is only a continuation of Moses’ previous obedience to the LORD prior to hitting the rock at Kadesh. From the day at the burning bush (yes, granted, there were some questions then, I know…), to speaking to Aaron, to the encounters with Pharaoh, to the preparations for the Passover, to the Exodus from Egypt, to the Red Sea, to Marah, to Massah and Meribah, to Mt. Sinai, to the golden calf, to the tabernacle preparations, to the priestly garments, to disciplining the rebellious…which really hit close to home, his own sister Miriam, brother Aaron and nephews Nadab and Abihu, and so on…)

    As we look at those verses above, we can see that Moses’ obedience doesn’t just involve Moses, but also involves other people and very often the whole nation of Israel. What would have happened if Moses just decided to chuck it?

    Though our obedience always has implications, let’s consider what would have happened to those countless other souls if Moses hadn’t obeyed as God commanded. We certainly must be humbled and sobered when we consider the wide-reaching and long-term implications of our disobedience (and obedience).

    Among God’s commands after Moses’ disobedience at Kadesh, there are a couple I find really challenging.

    First is the command of the Lord to Moses to strip his deceased brother Aaron of his garments and put them on Aaron’s son Eleazar. Miriam had died not long before the incident at Kadesh and now Aaron dies. How devastating would that be?

    Yet what was Moses’ response?

    Moses did as the LORD commanded.

    Second is the command to Moses to commission his successor, Joshua:

    Numbers 27:18  So the LORD said to Moses, “Take Joshua the son of Nun, a man in whom is the Spirit, and lay your hand on him. 19  Make him stand before Eleazar the priest and all the congregation, and you shall commission him in their sight. 20  You shall invest him with some of your authority, that all the congregation of the people of Israel may obey. 21  And he shall stand before Eleazar the priest, who shall inquire for him by the judgment of the Urim before the LORD. At his word they shall go out, and at his word they shall come in, both he and all the people of Israel with him, the whole congregation.”

    Moses’ response?


    22  And Moses did as the LORD commanded him. He took Joshua and made him stand before Eleazar the priest and the whole congregation, 23  and he laid his hands on him and commissioned him as the LORD directed through Moses.

    Moses did as the LORD commanded.

    Um, yeah, I admit I’d have a tough time with that one. Well, I don’t think it wouldn’t be that bad if I knew I was going to enter into the promised land…But Moses wasn’t going, the LORD had made that clear – yet we see no hint of resentment or jealousy in Moses.

    The LORD said it and Moses did it.

    Moses did as the LORD commanded.


    Will I? Will it be said of me:

    Karen did as the LORD commanded.

    I confess I still don’t have that kind of heart, or the heart of John the Baptist (well, really the heart of Jesus…Philippians 2…):

    John 3:26  And they came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, he who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you bore witness—look, he is baptizing, and all are going to him.” 27  John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven. 28  You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.’ 29  The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. 30  He must increase, but I must decrease.”

    But am I, a servant of the LORD, to dictate to the LORD the terms of my service to Him?

    I am praying God might circumcise my heart to do as He commands. May He give me sufficient grace when He places me in such situations. I am praying His Spirit might work in me so I might not be jealous but rather joyful, that I might be rejoicing rather than resenting…and I might willingly submit myself to serve the LORD however and wherever the He commands. I am praying my joy might be complete as I see others increase as I decrease.

    As I was in my car today, I drove near the workplace of a friend who works because she has to; she would relish to be in my position. I don’t have to work outside the home; my husband has been so gracious and generous to me, and our God has been so gracious and generous to us in providing for all our needs and far beyond that. So as I considered that, God hit me with His divine 2 x 4, and I began to come to my senses and cry out (once again):

    So what else would I rather be doing with my time than studying and teaching and blogging the Word of God and praying for revival?
    What else is more wonderful?
    Who else is more wonderful than You, Lord?
    Don’t let me squander this opportunity You’ve given me!
    Don’t let me waste my life!
    Help me to finish well like Moses did!
    These things have been weighing on my mind because of an account I recently read of Martyn Lloyd-Jones’ (ML-J) last days. This is in part what led to write the following in my last update:

    I also have some things I’ve been contemplating about ministry which at first I found daunting, but God has allowed me to settle in and trust Him in those and ponder them in my heart for the time being and trust Him to show me what I need to know when I need to know it and to know that He never gives us more than He equips us to do.

    Here’s Iain Murray writing of a conversation he had with ML-J less than a month before his death (“The Fight of Faith,” 773):

    I scarcely ever recall ML-J drawing any parallel between his own ministry and that of any Christian figure of a past age. But one parallel which he did draw in conversation on February 5, 1981 is a striking illustration of what was uppermost in his heart. ‘I feel in many way,’ he said, ‘like Griffith Jones of  Llanddowror.’ The man to whom he hoped to possess a resemblance was a little-remembered figure, born in Carmarthenshire in 1683 and significant not so much for what he achieved as for what he did in preparing the way for others. Griffith Jones was ‘the morning star’ of the great awakening of the eighteenth century in Wales, the forerunner of the better-known men who were to follow. The comparison tells us a great deal. Dr Lloyd-Jones had yearned for something in his own day which, when he spoke these words, he knew he was not going to be permitted to see. But his mind was not on the question of how posterity would remember him, it was on the success of the gospel. I responded, ‘As you have often said, God’s calendar is not ours’, but, only half-hearing me, he went on: ‘I never thought it was going to take so long. I thought I was going to see great revival but I am not complaining. It wasn’t God’s time and this preparatory work had to be done.’ If he could die believing that he had been permitted to do something to prepare the way for better men and greater days, that was enough.
    I read these words and started to weep. I’ve only had a burden for revival for just over a year and I’m already impatient…yet the Doctor had such a burden for years. As I read and listen to his sermons on revival, I sometimes cry; he’d even seen some revival in his first pastorate in Wales during the early 1930′s, but then nothing after that on any large scale, but he longed for more since he’d experienced first-hand in that congregation and in his own life. He was so burdened to see revival come to the Church because he saw the ruins. God has opened my eyes to those ruins and I am now burdened to see revival come in much the same way.

    Like ML-J I am yearning for something because I’ve had a taste of it in my own life and have seen that in the lives of a few others. I don’t yet know if I’ll see wide scale revival in my lifetime. I’m over fifty now; I don’t know how many years I have left here, I don’t know when or if the Lord might choose to come down from on high with power to revive the Church. I don’t know when He might return to take us home. But I do know (and I’ve already known this deep down for a while now) that part of my ministry is a preparation ministry. When I read those words, they were hard for me to swallow because that was a reminder to me that I must have the grace to step aside and commission the Joshuas who are younger to take up the work, and I may very well not be allowed to cross over Jordan.

    We see the account of Moses’ conversation with the LORD in Deuteronomy 3:23-36…Moses knew God was great and mighty, so he prayed he might be able to cross over Jordan.

    26  But the LORD was angry with me because of you and would not listen to me. And the LORD said to me, ‘Enough from you; do not speak to me of this matter again. 27  Go up to the top of Pisgah and lift up your eyes westward and northward and southward and eastward, and look at it with your eyes, for you shall not go over this Jordan. 28  But charge Joshua, and encourage and strengthen him, for he shall go over at the head of this people, and he shall put them in possession of the land that you shall see.’

    That’s serious stuff. The LORD was clear there.

    I can’t ever demand I get to cross over Jordan, but only trust God’s goodness to me and to know He will not withhold from me anything good. If it is good for me to cross over Jordan, to see revival in my lifetime, I will see it.

    My first concern must be with the glory of God and the success of the Gospel.

    I will say that I know there are some Joshuas out there, and I get teary-eyed now as I think of them and mention that now. I am praying for many young people who don’t even know I’m praying for them. I don’t know what will come out of that, but as God directs me, I’m continuing to pray for them. I thank God for those young men and women, and I pray God give me the grace to minister with perseverance until my final breath, knowing full well I am doing preparatory work for the Lord to come. May God give me the grace to persevere, to plant and water the seeds God gives me, even though I may not see much of the harvest in this lifetime. Yes, I confess that I would love to see wide-spread revival, I would love to go over the Jordan into the promised land, but if that is not the Lord’s will for me, may I persevere in obedience until the very end, like Moses. So long as the LORD gives me breath may I cry out:

    Isaiah 40
    3  …“In the wilderness prepare the way of the LORD;
    make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
    4  Every valley shall be lifted up,
    and every mountain and hill be made low;
    the uneven ground shall become level,
    and the rough places a plain.
    5  And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed,
    and all flesh shall see it together,
    for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”

    May it be said of me:
     

    Karen did as the LORD commanded.
    May it be said of all of us:

    We did as the LORD commanded.

    If I can die believing that I have been permitted to do something to prepare the way for better men and greater days, may that be enough for me!