If you’ve been reading my other blog, you know that the past couple weeks have been a struggle for me. (Please my posts here, here, here, here and here and here.) I’m not going to recount all that here, but I will say during that time I felt about as pressed and tempted as I have at any time since I’ve been saved, and though not having been afflicted or burdened as much as Paul was, I felt for the first time that I could genuinely relate to Paul’s words in II Corinthians 1:

The week before last I pulsed

Then later that same day I expanded on that request in my post asking a hard thing.

I had seen I was beginning to look to earthly results for my joy and knew I was headed in a very bad direction, very bad.

My face was not radiant because I was not looking to Him. Psalms 34:5: Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. I was looking pretty ugly and feeling joyless.

After that time I attended a conference at which I received a hand-out on evangelism. It broke the process into three phrases: cultivating, sowing and harvesting. This was truly a God-sent blessing as I read this under the description of the sowing phase:

As soon as I read that, I thought something like, “This is me! That is just what I love to do and thrive on!” I’m not saying I haven’t ever been involved in or wouldn’t ever be involved in cultivating the soil (human hearts) or harvesting the crop (the reproduced life of Christ in hearts), but God has given me a passion and love to sow seeds, and more particularly to sow seeds among those who are already in the church to shore them up in their faith, so their faith might grow deeper. (Notice that Paul told Timothy to do the work of an evangelist and yet Timothy was a pastor.)

Since that time I’ve been praying, “If You’ve made me a sower, then I want to be a happy sower! Lord, make me a happy sower!”

A few days after that I was brought down again and had to scratch and claw back and immerse myself in the Word and God’s promises and to remember that I could always trust God as I am faithful to do what He’s called me to do and not to obsess about the harvest or results.

This is a continuing battle but I’d not had such an extended and intense period of struggle and temptation with it since over a year ago, when God brought joy to my soul in a way He’d never done before. I’ve known His joy in increasing measure since that time, and I’ve come to know that no one or nothing compares. No one. Nothing. So this whole thing continue to grieve my soul as it grieved His Spirit, I know.

I am also more convinced than ever that the messages of joy and assurance are so vital to the church since I keep meeting joyless and unassured Christians over and over and over again.

Jesus Christ came that we might have life and have life abundantly. He came that our joy might be full. The Gospel is a message of great joy to all peoples.

There is so much more I’ve been wanting to write about all this. I hope and pray the Lord will give me the opportunity to do so. This is not only a vital message for others, but I have to say that it blesses my soul to write about God’s love and the joy He makes available to all of His children through Christ and it also brings God honor and glory as we remind one another that Christ alone is our true joy and His love for us endures forever and we need not doubt or fear or waver in our faith.  What glory! What other love compares to Him! What other joy compares to Him!

I’ve been reflecting on Isaiah 55 in the past day. I put my iPod touch onto shuffle yesterday and it ended up on a John Piper message Preaching in the Power of the Spirit. It was really excellent and I highly recommend it, but near the end he referenced verses 10 and 11 from Isaiah 55, and since that time I’ve been pondering those (as well as the whole chapter):

Gospel seed is a gift from God. (Thank You, Lord, for every seed You give me!) I am learning to count Him and that seed ever more precious. I can trust God will accomplish His purposes and it will succeed as He wills.

One of God’s purposes is that I steward that seed well and do so with joy. So, as He gives it to me, I want to be a faithful steward and sower of His seed, to persevere in sowing seed with joy for the sake of the elect.

There’s another thing I’ve been pondering. On my post here, David (TravelingStranger) commented, “God bless; keep up the holy work.”

Holy work. Holy work! The Gospel is holy because God is holy. Anytime we proclaim Christ, we are engaged in holy work. What a wonder that God chooses fallible, broken and feeble vessels like us, but we know it is all to bring God maximum glory (I Cor 1, II Cor 4). What a privilege and joy! As soon as I come to my senses and see the holiness of what I’m doing and the preciousness of the seed I’m sowing, I am melted down and can’t help but weep. I love Jesus and despite my recent wandering, I have known Him as my chief joy and my greatest treasure. I rejoice in Him and treasure Him even more today as I’ve seen His love constraining me back into His fold, to feel His embrace, to hear Him rejoicing over me with singing and quieting me with His love.

Throughout the day today I could particularly relate to the apostle Paul’s words:

Realizing the holiness of the task at hand, the awesome responsibility we have, and the hungry souls needing to be fed I was humbled. I knew that in and of myself I could do nothing. That’s a good place to be. And whenever we’re not there we need to ask Him to put us there once again.

As I said, I’ve been pondering Isaiah 55, and there’s more I would like to write on it, though I’ve not really had time to sit with as much as I’d like, except to say I can’t help but look at verses 4 and 5 and 12 and 13 and see how the Church is in dire need of truly knowing the deep joy of our salvation and having full assurance of God’s love for us:

If we continue joyless and unassured in our faith, are any nations really going to run to us? If we aren’t having joy and peace in believing and breaking forth into singing, are any nations going to have joy and peace in believing and break forth into singing? Are they going to have any interest in a God whose people are miserable and whining all the time? Are we going to be making a name for the LORD (other than bringing reproach on His Name )?

However, if we know God and His love in increasing measure so we might be filled with His joy and walk in deeper assurance, in both the dark and cloudy and stormy days as well as in the bright and sunny and calm days, what a witness that will be of God’s everlasting Gospel!

I do appreciate your friendship and your continuing prayers and support as I strive to be a happy sower by the grace of God at work in me.

One more thing I would ask you to pray about is for wisdom and discernment for me regarding my place in my local church. Long story short, it appears God is presenting an opportunity to me to have an impact on the women’s ministry there. I want to walk in obedience to God’s will for me and not to jump ahead of Him in this. I tend to jump ahead rather than waiting on Him. That was something our Father has had to discipline me several times in the past. This time around He gave me grace to be able to wait and pray, and I did not push, but now a door has been opening by His hand. (This is what I was referring to in my post Trust, delight, commit (Psalm 37:3-5) a couple days ago.)

I am also privileged to pray for you, so please feel free to leave requests in the comments below and/or message me.

The Lord has rejoiced my soul and made me glad!
Karen

A little while ago in How I Spent My Summer, # 1, I explained how I ended up getting a $ 95 parking ticket.

That took place after a trip we took out west, but since I’m not ready to post on that yet, meh, I’m not going to post on that yet.

I am going to post on a trip Mr. Deer & I took to Ignite Chicago, a Christian music festival, later in July. It wasn’t in Chicago, but in Schaumburg, one of the northwest suburbs of Chicago.

Ok, so I’m out of order here. It’s my blog, right?

Well, all I can tell you is that sometimes you just gotta get out the keytar and let it rip…

Since you know deerlife always has a book nearby, I did have a Bible along as well as ML-J’s “Great Doctrines of the Bible.” (During two days of bands, there is quite a bit of downtime, so what better way to pass some of that time than by reading?)

Right before the David Crowder*Band came on stage I’d read chapter 22, “The Lord Jesus Christ.”

Here’s a little excerpt:

The Bible makes it very plain and clear that the whole essence of the Christian position is dependent upon the person of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Now that is in many ways what you will call the ‘differentia’ of Christianity. That is the thing that separates the Christian faith from all other religions. Their founders, while important, are not absolutely essential to them. If Buddha had never existed you could still have Buddhism. If Muhammad had never lived you could still have Islam. In other religions it is the teaching that matters and the person is not essential; other person might have done it equally well, and the teaching would remain unaffected.

But that is not the case with the Christian faith. Christianity, as has often been pointed out, is Christ Himself. He is not only central, He is absolutely vital, and therefore we have to see that we are concerned primarily and always with Him. this is something that I shall have to emphasise, of course, time and again, but the touchstone of anybody’s profession of the Christian faith is, of necessity, such a person’s relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ. What proclaims at once that so many people who call themselves Christian are not Christian is that Christ as a person is not at all essential to them.

I am referring here to people who think that a Christian is just a good man or woman. Obviously, you can be a good man without ever mentioning the Lord Jesus Christ; but in Christianity He is vital, and if the truth concerning Him is not the truth, the whole position vanishes. Now that is something that one cannot overemphasize. The Christian faith is entirely concerned about Him, who He is, what He has done, and what He has made available and possible for us. And therefore you see the vital importance of our being quite clear in our minds, and absolutely right about all these things.

So I make no apology for putting it as dogmatically and as bluntly as that. To me, those who apologise for saying such a thing are very doubtful Christian, if, indeed, they are Christians at all. There is an intolerance about the Christian faith, expressed like this by the apostle Paul: ‘But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed’ (Gal. 1:8). And we must say that same thing. The truth is clear, it is well defined, it is perfectly definite, and we must be certain, therefore, with regard to what we believe about Him. It is not enough to say, ‘I believe in Christ.’ What do we believe about Christ? What is the teaching about Him? That is what now concerns us.

Now I was already quite happy that DC*B was coming on stage and getting ready to play, but then really exploded with joy when I heard them cranking up their first song,

“No One Like You.”

Just what I’d been reading!

Just what the Bible teaches!

No one like HIM!

Among the gods there is none like unto thee, O Lord;
neither are there any works like unto thy works.

Psalm 86:8

Amen!

(BTW: the videos here aren’t from Ignite)

Ok, and now you can be sure the excitement didn’t end there.

If you’re familiar with Crowder, you know that no Crowder concert is complete without the keytar.

“Behold the Keytar”
williamhartz’s photostream / cc by nc-sa 2.0

Please note that this is the classic red Keytar.

Not that green one that shows up on occasion.

Anyhow…

Well, so in case you were there,

if you were sitting close enough,

you know that was me really standing in for Crowder for part of the time.

I mean you know that these musicians are doing gigs all the time and it’s taxing being on the road all the time.

Behold deerlife!

Behold the keytar!

HT: Colin!

So sing along with the keytar!

Aren’t you looking forward to singing

forever and ever and ever and ever and ever?

Foreverandever Etc…

In the comments section to my very first post here, there was a little bit of banter, chit-chat, what-have-you going on between a llama and a deer (the deer, that’d be me):

llama

…Good post though…

deer

@llamalima - Thanks. These are things I’ve been thinking about for quite a while now…Definitely open to input, ideas, etc., etc.

llama

@deerlife - My suggestion: I want to have a circus with lions and elephants on deerlife. Then I want to have more music I can wave my hands to and feel nice and fluffly inside..,

Or were you looking for more non-serious suggestions…idk.

deer

@llamalima - There I was trying to write a prayer for one of my other blogs & listening to tobymac “I don’t wanna gain the whole world but lose my soul…” and then this “circus” comment comes to my inbox…

Seriously, I’ll entertain (lol) any and all suggestions, for we do need a sense of humour here for sure. Calvinists are allowed to laugh on occasion, aren’t we?

I noticed you did not include llamas in the circus. Certainly we must have llamas, right? We don’t want to be accused of discrimination! I should get my son to work on those action figures. Then we can do some mega-marketing, right?

What was that about gaining the whole world…???

We know that music is fine when it’s used rightly…but only so it might enhance our worship of God rather than be a mere psychological/emotional feeling w/ no true rooting, producing a form of worship w/out really worshiping Him. I know you know full well that God is very, very particular about how we worship Him.

llama

@deerlife - Well, I was 100% serious…err yeah, =)

Oh no, yeah llamas too…we don’t want to *offend* anyone at our circus. That would be bad…like people’s self esteem is totally important and paramount on deerlife…right? Now, the music too…we don’t want it to be boring either and not relevant to the audience. Give them what they want and they’ll give it back a million times over.

I may have been reading a bit of Rob Schuller yesterday…it’s getting to my head.

All that said, I know many of you (many?!) have been waiting, with bated breath, for months now, so, without further ado…well, perhaps with a drum roll or a little Mario Brothers playing on the keytar…

*Legal notice: These action figures are hereby authorized and approved and endorsed by deerlife for the enjoyment and edification of her audience. They may not be reproduced or retransmitted in any form, without the express written consent of deerlife. Also hearty thanks to my youngest son for making these. He is totally awesome with Photoshop and all that jazz.*

About deerlife (the action figure)

You can clearly see that deerlife is holding a glowing blue sword. If you are familiar with The Lord of the Rings, you know that when the Orcs were coming near, the elvish swords glowed blue. And so too with this weapon. When there’s a false, shoddy, incomplete, or just plain bad gospel anywhere in the vicinity, deerlife’s sword kicks it up into full gear and starts glowing blue because deerlife is seeking to be rooted in the Word of God so she won’t’ be swayed and tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine. Deerlife looks pretty laid back, and yes, she’s a girl, but know that she is so ready to speak the truth that at times she goes off half-cocked (is that mixing our metaphors here?) and the Holy Spirit has to rein her in and remind her of such verses as I Corinthians 16:13-14: Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong. 14  Let all your things be done with charity. Ooo! With charity! Gospel truth must always be given out the Gospel way: with love! (Ouch! Catch me, Lord! If I have not love…)

And, if you are of the old school and remember the Robot on “Lost in Space,” he would alert the crew of impeding danger, with the words, “Warning!” and “Danger!” and of course, he spoke that famous line “Danger, Will Robinson!”

Anyhow, as most of you already know I am quite serious about the Gospel, and by the grace of God I am seeking to know Him and make Him known.

Though I did say in my first post that what I do here might be:

A little quirky…
A little mind-altering…(in the words of a former Xangan)
A little outside the box…

So, I guess we’ve got a little of that today, don’t we?

I will be inviting Mr. Llama to do a post about his action figure and specifically why he chose a crossbow for his weapon. I can only surmise that he only chose that weapon because it was chosen for him. He and I are good Calvinists (well, no one is good, yes, we know that full well!), so we know we can’t ever choose unless we are enabled to choose.   (Updated 8.21.10: Please see Mr. Llama’s post Llamas, crossbows, true love…)

As way of update: We’re having family coming into town this week for our oldest son’s wedding this weekend, so I probably won’t be around much, but would very much appreciate your prayers for my son and future daughter-in-law as well as my time together with family. (Yes, I really do have some things to do around the house today!)

I appreciate the fellowship and friendship we share in Jesus Christ. May He keep us singing the new song He has put into our mouth:

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.

Amen.