Most of us are familiar with the events of Numbers 20 at Kadesh. The Israelites were whining and murmuring (once again) because there was no water.

We can see here that Moses started out well…He and Aaron headed straight to the tent of meeting and fell on their faces before the LORD in prayer. The glory of the LORD appeared. The LORD gave them clear directions. But then what happened?

Hmm…Moses didn’t finish so well there, did he?

I can see myself in that. I start off well and for various reasons don’t always end up finishing well. My flesh takes over…

I also know I’ve had times I’ve been tempted at times to hit the rock, when I was only to speak to it.
I must say I have spoken to the rock when I’ve only been supposed to speak to it.
I lost patience and did not trust God to work in His way and in His time.
I reaped what I’ve sown.

I know I’ve been tempted in recent days to hit the rock, when I’m only supposed to speak to it.
I know how easy it would be to hit the rock. Too easy.
I’ve been close to hitting it…very close…too close.
I’m in danger of losing patience and not trusting God to work in His way and in His time.
LORD God, guard my mouth, hold my hand back. Help me to trust You to work in Your way and Your time.
Help me to be obedient to Your commandments.

(That’s not my main emphasis today here, yet these are things I’ve been struggling with once again, so I’m including them here…)

We know the rest of Moses’ story. Because Moses struck the rock twice instead of speaking to it, God spoke these words to Moses:

Any time we don’t do things in God’s prescribed way, the LORD is not hallowed and there will be consequences for that…Yes, God is gracious to us, and He uses all things (even our sins) for our good and His glory, yet it is true that we will reap what we sow, and, as a result, there may very well be dire consequences (e.g.- consider David’s sin with Bathsheba and the ensuing cover-up).

If we stopped right there and focused on the fact that Moses wasn’t able to lead Israel into the promised land, not even to put a foot there, this would be a very depressing story…(Yes, I know Moses ended up there at the Transfiguration…)

I know if I were Moses I would be tempted to say, “Ok, LORD, that’s enough. If I can’t get into the promised land, why bother?” (self-centered much?)

I will confess to you that my promised land is revival coming to the Church. And I can too easily make that an idol.

If I knew I would never see revival come in my lifetime, I know I would be tempted to say, “Ok, LORD, that’s enough. If I’m not going to see revival, why bother? Why bother if I won’t get to cross over Jordan?”

(Yes, I know Moses did pray to the Lord about his not being able to go into the promised land in Deut. 3, see more below.)

However, that’s not the attitude we see in Moses after Kadesh. After his disobedience in hitting the rock, in spite of the LORD’s clear proclamation that Moses would not be going into the promised land, we find Moses picking up in obedience to the LORD’s commands.

Here are a few instances. (You can go and read the surrounding context of each.)

(I’d just like to note that this pattern of obedience is only a continuation of Moses’ previous obedience to the LORD prior to hitting the rock at Kadesh. From the day at the burning bush (yes, granted, there were some questions then, I know…), to speaking to Aaron, to the encounters with Pharaoh, to the preparations for the Passover, to the Exodus from Egypt, to the Red Sea, to Marah, to Massah and Meribah, to Mt. Sinai, to the golden calf, to the tabernacle preparations, to the priestly garments, to disciplining the rebellious…which really hit close to home, his own sister Miriam, brother Aaron and nephews Nadab and Abihu, and so on…)

As we look at those verses above, we can see that Moses’ obedience doesn’t just involve Moses, but also involves other people and very often the whole nation of Israel. What would have happened if Moses just decided to chuck it?

Though our obedience always has implications, let’s consider what would have happened to those countless other souls if Moses hadn’t obeyed as God commanded. We certainly must be humbled and sobered when we consider the wide-reaching and long-term implications of our disobedience (and obedience).

Among God’s commands after Moses’ disobedience at Kadesh, there are a couple I find really challenging.

First is the command of the Lord to Moses to strip his deceased brother Aaron of his garments and put them on Aaron’s son Eleazar. Miriam had died not long before the incident at Kadesh and now Aaron dies. How devastating would that be?

Yet what was Moses’ response?

Second is the command to Moses to commission his successor, Joshua:

Moses’ response?

Moses did as the LORD commanded.

Um, yeah, I admit I’d have a tough time with that one. Well, I don’t think it wouldn’t be that bad if I knew I was going to enter into the promised land…But Moses wasn’t going, the LORD had made that clear – yet we see no hint of resentment or jealousy in Moses.

The LORD said it and Moses did it.

Will I? Will it be said of me:

I confess I still don’t have that kind of heart, or the heart of John the Baptist (well, really the heart of Jesus…Philippians 2…):

But am I, a servant of the LORD, to dictate to the LORD the terms of my service to Him?

I am praying God might circumcise my heart to do as He commands. May He give me sufficient grace when He places me in such situations. I am praying His Spirit might work in me so I might not be jealous but rather joyful, that I might be rejoicing rather than resenting…and I might willingly submit myself to serve the LORD however and wherever the He commands. I am praying my joy might be complete as I see others increase as I decrease.

As I was in my car today, I drove near the workplace of a friend who works because she has to; she would relish to be in my position. I don’t have to work outside the home; my husband has been so gracious and generous to me, and our God has been so gracious and generous to us in providing for all our needs and far beyond that. So as I considered that, God hit me with His divine 2 x 4, and I began to come to my senses and cry out (once again):

So what else would I rather be doing with my time than studying and teaching and blogging the Word of God and praying for revival?
What else is more wonderful?
Who else is more wonderful than You, Lord?
Don’t let me squander this opportunity You’ve given me!
Don’t let me waste my life!
Help me to finish well like Moses did!

These things have been weighing on my mind because of an account I recently read of Martyn Lloyd-Jones’ (ML-J) last days. This is in part what led to write the following in my last update:

I also have some things I’ve been contemplating about ministry which at first I found daunting, but God has allowed me to settle in and trust Him in those and ponder them in my heart for the time being and trust Him to show me what I need to know when I need to know it and to know that He never gives us more than He equips us to do.

Here’s Iain Murray writing of a conversation he had with ML-J less than a month before his death (“The Fight of Faith,” 773):

I scarcely ever recall ML-J drawing any parallel between his own ministry and that of any Christian figure of a past age. But one parallel which he did draw in conversation on February 5, 1981 is a striking illustration of what was uppermost in his heart. ‘I feel in many way,’ he said, ‘like Griffith Jones of  Llanddowror.’ The man to whom he hoped to possess a resemblance was a little-remembered figure, born in Carmarthenshire in 1683 and significant not so much for what he achieved as for what he did in preparing the way for others. Griffith Jones was ‘the morning star’ of the great awakening of the eighteenth century in Wales, the forerunner of the better-known men who were to follow. The comparison tells us a great deal. Dr Lloyd-Jones had yearned for something in his own day which, when he spoke these words, he knew he was not going to be permitted to see. But his mind was not on the question of how posterity would remember him, it was on the success of the gospel. I responded, ‘As you have often said, God’s calendar is not ours’, but, only half-hearing me, he went on: ‘I never thought it was going to take so long. I thought I was going to see great revival but I am not complaining. It wasn’t God’s time and this preparatory work had to be done.’ If he could die believing that he had been permitted to do something to prepare the way for better men and greater days, that was enough.

I read these words and started to weep. I’ve only had a burden for revival for just over a year and I’m already impatient…yet the Doctor had such a burden for years. As I read and listen to his sermons on revival, I sometimes cry; he’d even seen some revival in his first pastorate in Wales during the early 1930′s, but then nothing after that on any large scale, but he longed for more since he’d experienced first-hand in that congregation and in his own life. He was so burdened to see revival come to the Church because he saw the ruins. God has opened my eyes to those ruins and I am now burdened to see revival come in much the same way.

Like ML-J I am yearning for something because I’ve had a taste of it in my own life and have seen that in the lives of a few others. I don’t yet know if I’ll see wide scale revival in my lifetime. I’m over fifty now; I don’t know how many years I have left here, I don’t know when or if the Lord might choose to come down from on high with power to revive the Church. I don’t know when He might return to take us home. But I do know (and I’ve already known this deep down for a while now) that part of my ministry is a preparation ministry. When I read those words, they were hard for me to swallow because that was a reminder to me that I must have the grace to step aside and commission the Joshuas who are younger to take up the work, and I may very well not be allowed to cross over Jordan.

We see the account of Moses’ conversation with the LORD in Deuteronomy 3:23-36…Moses knew God was great and mighty, so he prayed he might be able to cross over Jordan.

26  But the LORD was angry with me because of you and would not listen to me. And the LORD said to me, ‘Enough from you; do not speak to me of this matter again. 27  Go up to the top of Pisgah and lift up your eyes westward and northward and southward and eastward, and look at it with your eyes, for you shall not go over this Jordan. 28  But charge Joshua, and encourage and strengthen him, for he shall go over at the head of this people, and he shall put them in possession of the land that you shall see.’

That’s serious stuff. The LORD was clear there.

I can’t ever demand I get to cross over Jordan, but only trust God’s goodness to me and to know He will not withhold from me anything good. If it is good for me to cross over Jordan, to see revival in my lifetime, I will see it.

My first concern must be with the glory of God and the success of the Gospel.

I will say that I know there are some Joshuas out there, and I get teary-eyed now as I think of them and mention that now. I am praying for many young people who don’t even know I’m praying for them. I don’t know what will come out of that, but as God directs me, I’m continuing to pray for them. I thank God for those young men and women, and I pray God give me the grace to minister with perseverance until my final breath, knowing full well I am doing preparatory work for the Lord to come. May God give me the grace to persevere, to plant and water the seeds God gives me, even though I may not see much of the harvest in this lifetime. Yes, I confess that I would love to see wide-spread revival, I would love to go over the Jordan into the promised land, but if that is not the Lord’s will for me, may I persevere in obedience until the very end, like Moses. So long as the LORD gives me breath may I cry out:

Isaiah 40
3  …“In the wilderness prepare the way of the LORD;
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
4  Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
and the rough places a plain.
5  And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed,
and all flesh shall see it together,
for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”

May it be said of me:
 

Karen did as the LORD commanded.

May it be said of all of us:

We did as the LORD commanded.

If I can die believing that I have been permitted to do something to prepare the way for better men and greater days, may that be enough for me!