Philippians 4:11  Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Up until recently, I pretty much considered these words of Paul primarily in regard to Paul’s physical needs, and certainly the surrounding context implies Paul had been writing about some physical provision the Philippians had made for him.

But now as I’ve been thinking more about the loneliness of ministry I’m looking at Paul’s words in a new light.

Didn’t any and every circumstance for the apostle Paul have to also include his emotional needs, specifically those circumstances in which there were no friends left to support him?

Hadn’t Paul learned the secret of facing plenty (in friendships) and hunger (in friendships), abundance and need (in friendships)?

Hadn’t Paul learned he could do all things (regardless of whether he had many friends or no friends) through Christ who strengthened him?

As much as I treasure my friends, as much as I know they are a gift from God to stand by me and strengthen me, I know that inevitably, in contrast to the Lord, either unintentionally or intentionally, all my friends, yes, each and every one of them, will eventually let me down. The best of friends cannot stand by us at all times. The best of friends cannot strengthen us at all times. (For example, consider how in spite of their best intentions, Peter, James & John fell asleep while the Lord prayed alone in the garden.) I know that in my head, but I sometimes forget that in my heart. God has to keep reminding me of how I often begin to rely on friends rather than Him alone.

I’ve also found myself murmuring too much lately (well, once is really too much), “No one really understands this calling, this burden that God has given me.” Things like that…Nonsense…

Well, how can anyone else understand it, really…apart from the Lord Himself? It’s certainly true that as believers we’re all called to Christ, so we have that common bond in Him, we share in His life and in His Spirit.  But beyond that we have different callings on our lives and we’re uniquely gifted (e.g. – see John 21; I Cor. 12-14, etc.). Yes, there are always fellow believers who have similar passions and burdens and similar gifts and similar personalities. But yet…we still have to consider…

As wonderful as they can be, our human friendships are never going to compare to our friendship with and relationship to Christ.

Besides all that, if our friends were able to be there all the time to stand by us and strengthen us (which they can’t), if our friends could understand completely (which they can’t), would we really rely on the LORD as He intends? Would we be able to say without Him we can do nothing? How could He ever be our all in all if our friends took that role?

I like Caedmon’s Call’s song “You Created.” Here’s the chorus:

That includes friends. God will not give us friends if we will end up finding them more pleasurable than the Lord Himself.

Don’t get me wrong here. The apostle Paul cherished his Christian friends and treasured them. That’s evident as we read his many commendations toward his friends as well as his tender care and concern for them. And we’re to do likewise. God has given me some wonderful friends, but they still aren’t God…And I always get in big trouble when I try to substitute them for God or when I begin to say that God Himself isn’t enough for me. It’s just like going to the broken cisterns to drink rather than going to the living waters. Idolatrous? Yes! Foolish? Yes!

Friends are a gift from God to stand by us and strengthen us, but they are only that – a gift from God, never to be a substitute for God. (Doesn’t the devil love to twist the gifts of God to us?!)

Friends will stand by us and strengthen us…to a point…

There’s only one Friend who will stand by us and strengthen us all the time…

The psalmist wrote:

In other words, whatever God’s purposes are for us, He will fulfill them.

So, at any particular time, we can trust that God will fulfill His purposes for us in His way. At times that may be by giving us many friends. Other times through a few friends. Other times through a single friend. And, yes, at other times, no friend. But no matter how many or how few friends we have at any time, we can be sure of this: the Lord will never fail to stand by us and strengthen us. (Yes, we all have friends all the time, but I think you know what I’m saying there…there are passions too fiery, burdens too heavy, heartaches too deep, joys too high that no human friend can really come alongside us in some of those times…) Therefore, depending on the particular season of life and season of ministry, sometimes we’ll have an abundance of friends, other times, a few, other times, none. Like the apostle Paul, we must (I must) learn to trust God to be our all in all in abundance and in need. Just as the Lord did. All ended up forsaking Him in the end. In the garden, during his trials and passion and then on the cross, could any friend help Him but His Father? The Lord Jesus completely entrusted Himself to His Father’s keeping, and God’s intent is for us to do the same…at all times. Isn’t Christ there with us when we cry endlessly in those night seasons or when our hearts burn brightly with passionate fire for the Gospel? Is our God not working for our good at all times? When no human friend is there for us, can we not trust Him to stand by us and strengthen us?

Going back to Psalm 57 once again:

Isn’t one of God’s great purposes for us to proclaim His Gospel for His glory? Look once again at II Timothy 4:16-17:

One of God’s purposes in giving us Christian friends is that they will stand by us and strengthen us so the Gospel might be fully proclaimed in the same way Christ stood by and strengthened Paul. Yes, I do know there are many, many other godly purposes for the gift of friends but let’s not lose sight of that glorious purpose God has for us in our friendships. God is all about His glory. And when His Gospel is proclaimed, He is glorified!

May we trust the workings of our sovereign Lord and God from whom all good gifts come. May we trust His wisdom and His love for us at all times: that He gives friends when we need them and withholds them when we do not need them, and may He give us grace to bless His name at all times. No matter what happens, may we continue to sing that it is well with our souls. May we trust our God in His time to give us godly friends who will stand by and strengthen us to proclaim Christ.

And let us always remember that God has given Himself to us to stand by and strengthen us forever.

How often do we become restless when we forget God’s bountiful dealings with us? Consider that He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world. He became sin for us so we might become the righteousness of God. He died on the cross for us while we were yet sinners. While we were strangers without hope and without power, His mighty power worked to draw us to Himself, to bring us out of darkness into His marvelous light. His kindness led us to repentance. His Spirit imparted life to our dead souls. We forget those first things…Let us heed the words of the Psalmist:

O souls, let us return to our rest as we see that the LORD has dealt bountifully with us and continues to deal bountifully with us! We become restless whenever we forget Whose we are! I so quickly become restless when I forget God’s bountiful goodness to me! He is our Beloved and we are His! Amazing grace poured out at Calvary that allows us to have fellowship with God the Father Himself through the body and blood of His Son and His indwelling Spirit!

As I have blathered this and that to God about my not having the friends I think I need (or blathering about whatever I think I need; I’m focusing on friends here because that’s been my most recent struggle, but you can fill in the gap with whatever you keep telling God you “need”…), my Father has never failed to be merciful and gracious to me. He never fails to brings me back to my senses to remember His bountiful blessings to me in Jesus Christ. As I look back on how I’ve been whining and pouting and lamenting because I don’t have this or that, the words of Psalm 73 come to mind, to humble me so I have to pray:

“Forgive me Father. Once again I have been foolish and brutish. You have already given me everything in Christ Jesus, the Friend who sticks closer than a brother, and yet there I am saying to You, ‘Um, sorry that isn’t enough. I want more!’ How abominable. For me to say that Christ isn’t enough! This is foolishness and brutishness to the n-th degree! Forgive me, O God, for Jesus’ sake. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve You. I thank You for loving me in the first place and then for continuing to love and keep me for my heart is prone to wander. But for You, my feet would have slipped irreparably. All praise and thanks to You for You alone keep me from falling and will present me before Your throne one Day. For me not to be fully satisfied that You are my best Friend shows how wretched I am. Thank You, Lord God, for Your amazing grace and manifold mercies that You continue to shower down upon me!”

I’m no different than the Israelites who murmured and grumbled in the desert, “Is the Lord among us or not?”

Of course, the Lord is among us! And, not only that, but the Lord is in me. He has promised never to leave me or forsake me. His Spirit has come to abide with me forever.

This is the same Holy Spirit who helps with our weaknesses and intercedes for us…

So what does my Father think when I say to Him, “No one understands this calling. I have no one to talk to….”

Not much…

Our Father is good and wants to give us good gifts:

If the LORD is withholding friends from us at a particular time, we know that is for our good. Our LORD will never withhold anything good from us. Never! He is our loving Father. He wants to give us good gifts. And His best gift to us is Himself. How easily I forget that in so many ways, including this area of my friendships. We will be blessed as we trust in Him and in His ways and in His will for us during those times of loneliness. May He give us grace to draw closer to Him and be ever-mindful that no matter what the Lord will supply all our need, that He will stand by us and strengthen us at all times.

I was looking back at some of William Williams’ (1717-1791) hymns this week (in Sweet Singers of Wales) and found this one which God used to speak to my soul. I hope it will bless you as it has me.

In Lonely Desert Place

In lonely desert place,
Without one human friend,
If God would daily show His face,
I could my lifetime spend.
He is in every thing,
All-present every hour;
There is no creature that can bring
Its strength to help His power.

The fearful desert night,
Perils in every place,
And fear of death–all take their flight,
Where God reveals His face:
His beauty passing fair,
His peace, and perfect love,
Make holy festivals, where’er
He shineth from above.

Where Thou art, in all things
Immortal life abounds;
Like streams from out the rock it springs,
And reaches heaven’s bounds:
From Thee alone have come
All dawns of shining white,
To guide, through wastes and lowlands home,
The children of the light.
 
Ye sun and moon, farewell;
Farewell, ye stars of night;
Where God’s sweet presence comes to dwell,
There needs no other light:
A vast eternal day
Comes from His smiling face;
A better, greater light than they–
The radiance of His grace.

The Lord will stand by us and strengthen us!

Philippians 4:11  Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

• Vegas, baby! (reflections on friendships & deerlife)
• singing psalms & hymns & spiritual songs
• ML-J on depression in the ministry
• ministry & perseverance (Even after Kadesh “Moses did as the LORD commanded.” Will I?)
• Letter 7 on assurance and fighting for joy (remember His love for us while we were sinners)
• Friendship through His Spirit (a hymn of thanksgiving to God)
• Reasons for Thanks Giving, Part 6: Christian Friends
• Bible Reading-Isaiah: When We Think the LORD Has Forsaken and Forgotten Us
• resting in the love of God & pressing on in friendships (letter 46 on assurance & joy)

Photo credit: I edited DesertQatar (public domain photo).

Dear friends in Christ,

Thank you to all of you who have been praying for me. (See my last update/prayer requests.)

I thank God that He has refreshed my soul. He has done that in numerous ways.

I had wonderful worship w/ some old friends over the weekend and then fellowship with some friends from our old church.

I’ve picked up in reading Iain Murray’s “Revival and Revivalism,” as well as rereading “George Whitefield’s Journals.” As soon as you begin to read things like that, your mind gets set once again on heavenly things and things of earth grow strangely dim. That has renewed and refueled my vision and passion to pray for revival and to continue to blog meaty stuff here.

I’ve continued to be blessed by the study of John in our BSF class. I only returned there in March and I am amazed (though shouldn’t really be) at how God is showing me so much new in those last chapters in John.

I love being outside and we have had a wonderful spring here, probably one of the earliest and nicest since I moved here in 1981. Walking and just sitting and reading/praying/contemplating/listening to music is a tonic to my soul. This is one of my favorite spots where I like to sit. It’s in a park about a mile from home. I walked there today… 

This second picture is a photo not from that same park, but from the UW-Arboretum…

I realized once again today how I must make time to worship with music daily. Though I listen to music a lot of the time, I must take time to really focus on the words and on the Lord and worship, just worship, rather than multi-task.

Finally, if you have unconfessed sin or are struggling with sin, you cannot have the joy of the Lord He intends. But once you recognize that sin and confess it and begin to do battle, the joy begins to flow. I had some sins and fears to deal with and God has helped me to come through those. (I’ve written about some of that here, here, here and here.) Once again I was dealing with my lust for public praise and needing to make war with that. I also have some things I’ve been contemplating about ministry which at first I found daunting, but God has allowed me to settle in and trust Him in those and ponder them in my heart for the time being and trust Him to show me what I need to know when I need to know it and to know that He never gives us more than He equips us to do.

I find it quite ironic that later on the same day I posted about making war on my desire for public recognition, TheologiansCafe rec’d my post Praying for Revelife (and your own blog). (I’d pulsed a link to that post earlier in the evening due to some concerns a fellow sister in Christ was having w/ Revelife; she rec’d it and TheoDan saw it and the rest is history…)

So, please, please, my friends, hit me over the head when I start to babble some sort of nonsense about recognition, etc., etc. (Or at least pray for me! Then hit me!) Recognition comes with its own headaches…I found that out again this time around, plus I thought I’d already learned my lesson last fall with the Revelife-Calvinism flap. *sigh* No different that James and John, am I?

As much as I am joking here, I do know this is an ongoing struggle for me. And I hate it. So I am trusting God will help me to glory in Him and rejoice in Him more and more and not to concern myself about the rest (Psalm 131). God is never going to bless my writing if I have mixed motives. I very much appreciate your prayers. I do know that over the past few days God has given me some sweet unexpected fruit of behind-the-scenes ministry to single souls. There is so much joy there! To see a single sheep lifted up by my words is so, so wonderful! There is way, way more joy in that than having 99 people visit one of my posts.

In addition to the requests I gave previously, tonight I’m asking you to pray for clear leading in my blogging on my naphtali_deer site. I will tell you that I have about 100 private posts there. Some of them will always stay private and some of them were already converted into public posts, but a vast majority are posts I’d begun at one time or another and put aside intending to post publicly eventually. It seems that with every day, I have ideas for at least a couple more blogs as well. Needless to say, this can be overwhelming at times. I really need ears to hear God’s voice so I might know what to post about on a particular day. I don’t want to be driven by the calendar or what I’m reading in Xanga/Revelife community or what’s happening there, and yet there are times I should be writing to do so.

Here are a few things I would like to write about and/or are in the queue:

Anyhow, there’s some of the list. I’m putting them down here, so I might actually remember…

Perhaps there’s something else God might have for me. I’m trusting He would show me that.

There are also some things I’d like to post here re: my vision for this site. I hope to do that soon, D.V.

If you have prayer requests you would like to share publicly here, please feel free to do so; otherwise, you can message them to me. My prayer is that we might encourage one another by our words here as well as uphold each other in prayer. Thank you for your friendship and fellowship in Christ.

Yours in Christ,
Karen

 
Tonight I’m getting together w/ a group of friends. We’ve not all been in one place for over a year now. We’d called our gatherings “Vegas,” well…because most of you know the saying,

“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”™

We would hold each other accountable and were able to say anything to one another because we knew what we said would be guarded and held near and dear to our hearts.

I’m thankful for my online friends here and my irl friends. It will be good to reunite with these dear friends once again tonight.

I admit I have a love-hate attitude toward friendships.

Though I’m an extrovert, I’m right on the borderline, so I need a lot of time alone.

I like reading and study and writing. You can’t really do those that very well when you’re with someone else or a group of people. Though when meeting with a friend or a small group of friends, I can reflect on what I’ve read with others, so that’s a case where the two come together.

I really don’t like large groups of people; I often find myself uncomfortable in such situations. But if I can find a single person with whom I share a common bond, I can speak with her/him for quite a long time (e.g.- just mention the doctrines of grace or Piper or ML-J!).

For example, I attended an event in the past year and ended up talking with someone, and as far as I was concerned I would have been quite content to sit with that person for hours and hours more. I’m not good at small talk, but if that spark comes, that little insight that you know you there’s something bonding you below the surface stuff, then I’m glued in place and attentive and engaged.

Though I know friends are a gift from God, as with all God’s gifts, the devil can twist that, so we end up worshiping the gift rather than the Giver. We can never become more dependent on our friends more than we are on Christ. He must be central. He alone is our all in all. Our friends are an extension of Him, and, as with all His gifts, they must be held with an open hand. That has been a lesson God keeps shoving in front of me time and again, especially in this past year.

I’m thankful for you, my friends here, and especially thankful for your prayers, comments and messages after my post last night. I am alive and kicking. I think I freaked some of you out by what I wrote.

FYI: I become discouraged fairly often; it’s just most of you don’t see it happening in real time, but it comes out in little snippets in my writing. I feel akin to Jeremiah in many ways. However, I will say the other day was pretty extreme, but I am thankful God brought me to my senses quickly and got me out of that miry and slimy slough of doubt, despond and despair and helped me to fix my eyes on Him once again.

I am thankful for all the Aarons and Hurs God has graciously provided for me, including those in my Vegas group as well as many of you who have lifted my arms on several occasions.

That said, I hope I can do the same for you. And I hope deerlife can be a place we can do this for one another. As Jesus told Peter,

I hope deerlife will be a place where we can strengthen one another as we battle and encourage one another to press on to the prize of the high calling. (Please see more about my vision for deerlife at the top of my main page.)

How have friends encouraged you?
How have you struggled in your friendships?
Do you have a friend or friends who regularly keep you accountable?
What might we be doing here at deerlife to encourage one regularly?