Philippians 4:11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Up until recently, I pretty much considered these words of Paul primarily in regard to Paul’s physical needs, and certainly the surrounding context implies Paul had been writing about some physical provision the Philippians had made for him.
But now as I’ve been thinking more about the loneliness of ministry I’m looking at Paul’s words in a new light.
Didn’t any and every circumstance for the apostle Paul have to also include his emotional needs, specifically those circumstances in which there were no friends left to support him?
Hadn’t Paul learned the secret of facing plenty (in friendships) and hunger (in friendships), abundance and need (in friendships)?
Hadn’t Paul learned he could do all things (regardless of whether he had many friends or no friends) through Christ who strengthened him?
II Timothy 4:16 …but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! 17 But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it.
As much as I treasure my friends, as much as I know they are a gift from God to stand by me and strengthen me, I know that inevitably, in contrast to the Lord, either unintentionally or intentionally, all my friends, yes, each and every one of them, will eventually let me down. The best of friends cannot stand by us at all times. The best of friends cannot strengthen us at all times. (For example, consider how in spite of their best intentions, Peter, James & John fell asleep while the Lord prayed alone in the garden.) I know that in my head, but I sometimes forget that in my heart. God has to keep reminding me of how I often begin to rely on friends rather than Him alone.
I’ve also found myself murmuring too much lately (well, once is really too much), “No one really understands this calling, this burden that God has given me.” Things like that…Nonsense…
Well, how can anyone else understand it, really…apart from the Lord Himself? It’s certainly true that as believers we’re all called to Christ, so we have that common bond in Him, we share in His life and in His Spirit. But beyond that we have different callings on our lives and we’re uniquely gifted (e.g. – see John 21; I Cor. 12-14, etc.). Yes, there are always fellow believers who have similar passions and burdens and similar gifts and similar personalities. But yet…we still have to consider…
Who gave me this calling?
Who gave me this burden?
Who gave me these gifts?
Who gave me life in the first place?
As wonderful as they can be, our human friendships are never going to compare to our friendship with and relationship to Christ.
Christ gave me this calling.
Christ gave me this burden.
Christ gave me these gifts.
Christ gave me life in the first place.
Besides all that, if our friends were able to be there all the time to stand by us and strengthen us (which they can’t), if our friends could understand completely (which they can’t), would we really rely on the LORD as He intends? Would we be able to say without Him we can do nothing? How could He ever be our all in all if our friends took that role?
I like Caedmon’s Call’s song “You Created.” Here’s the chorus:
But You created nothing
That gives me more pleasure than You
And You won’t give me something
That gives me more pleasure than You
That includes friends. God will not give us friends if we will end up finding them more pleasurable than the Lord Himself.
Don’t get me wrong here. The apostle Paul cherished his Christian friends and treasured them. That’s evident as we read his many commendations toward his friends as well as his tender care and concern for them. And we’re to do likewise. God has given me some wonderful friends, but they still aren’t God…And I always get in big trouble when I try to substitute them for God or when I begin to say that God Himself isn’t enough for me. It’s just like going to the broken cisterns to drink rather than going to the living waters. Idolatrous? Yes! Foolish? Yes!
Friends are a gift from God to stand by us and strengthen us, but they are only that – a gift from God, never to be a substitute for God. (Doesn’t the devil love to twist the gifts of God to us?!)
Friends will stand by us and strengthen us…to a point…
…all deserted me…
There’s only one Friend who will stand by us and strengthen us all the time…
But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me
The psalmist wrote:
Psalm 57:2 I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
In other words, whatever God’s purposes are for us, He will fulfill them.
So, at any particular time, we can trust that God will fulfill His purposes for us in His way. At times that may be by giving us many friends. Other times through a few friends. Other times through a single friend. And, yes, at other times, no friend. 
But no matter how many or how few friends we have at any time, we can be sure of this: the Lord will never fail to stand by us and strengthen us. (Yes, we all have friends all the time, but I think you know what I’m saying there…there are passions too fiery, burdens too heavy, heartaches too deep, joys too high that no human friend can really come alongside us in some of those times…) Therefore, depending on the particular season of life and season of ministry, sometimes we’ll have an abundance of friends, other times, a few, other times, none. Like the apostle Paul, we must (I must) learn to trust God to be our all in all in abundance and in need. Just as the Lord did. All ended up forsaking Him in the end. In the garden, during his trials and passion and then on the cross, could any friend help Him but His Father? The Lord Jesus completely entrusted Himself to His Father’s keeping, and God’s intent is for us to do the same…at all times. Isn’t Christ there with us when we cry endlessly in those night seasons or when our hearts burn brightly with passionate fire for the Gospel? Is our God not working for our good at all times? When no human friend is there for us, can we not trust Him to stand by us and strengthen us?
Going back to Psalm 57 once again:
I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
Isn’t one of God’s great purposes for us to proclaim His Gospel for His glory? Look once again at II Timothy 4:16-17:
II Timothy 4:16 …but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! 17 But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it.
One of God’s purposes in giving us Christian friends is that they will stand by us and strengthen us so the Gospel might be fully proclaimed in the same way Christ stood by and strengthened Paul. Yes, I do know there are many, many other godly purposes for the gift of friends but let’s not lose sight of that glorious purpose God has for us in our friendships. God is all about His glory. And when His Gospel is proclaimed, He is glorified!
May we trust the workings of our sovereign Lord and God from whom all good gifts come. May we trust His wisdom and His love for us at all times: that He gives friends when we need them and withholds them when we do not need them, and may He give us grace to bless His name at all times. No matter what happens, may we continue to sing that it is well with our souls. May we trust our God in His time to give us godly friends who will stand by and strengthen us to proclaim Christ.
And let us always remember that God has given Himself to us to stand by and strengthen us forever.
Romans 8:31 …If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
How often do we become restless when we forget God’s bountiful dealings with us? Consider that He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world. He became sin for us so we might become the righteousness of God. He died on the cross for us while we were yet sinners. While we were strangers without hope and without power, His mighty power worked to draw us to Himself, to bring us out of darkness into His marvelous light. His kindness led us to repentance. His Spirit imparted life to our dead souls. We forget those first things…Let us heed the words of the Psalmist:
Psalm 116:7 Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.
O souls, let us return to our rest as we see that the LORD has dealt bountifully with us and continues to deal bountifully with us! We become restless whenever we forget Whose we are! I so quickly become restless when I forget God’s bountiful goodness to me! He is our Beloved and we are His! Amazing grace poured out at Calvary that allows us to have fellowship with God the Father Himself through the body and blood of His Son and His indwelling Spirit!
As I have blathered this and that to God about my not having the friends I think I need (or blathering about whatever I think I need; I’m focusing on friends here because that’s been my most recent struggle, but you can fill in the gap with whatever you keep telling God you “need”…), my Father has never failed to be merciful and gracious to me. He never fails to brings me back to my senses to remember His bountiful blessings to me in Jesus Christ. As I look back on how I’ve been whining and pouting and lamenting because I don’t have this or that, the words of Psalm 73 come to mind, to humble me so I have to pray:
“Forgive me Father. Once again I have been foolish and brutish. You have already given me everything in Christ Jesus, the Friend who sticks closer than a brother, and yet there I am saying to You, ‘Um, sorry that isn’t enough. I want more!’ How abominable. For me to say that Christ isn’t enough! This is foolishness and brutishness to the n-th degree! Forgive me, O God, for Jesus’ sake. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve You. I thank You for loving me in the first place and then for continuing to love and keep me for my heart is prone to wander. But for You, my feet would have slipped irreparably. All praise and thanks to You for You alone keep me from falling and will present me before Your throne one Day. For me not to be fully satisfied that You are my best Friend shows how wretched I am. Thank You, Lord God, for Your amazing grace and manifold mercies that You continue to shower down upon me!”
I’m no different than the Israelites who murmured and grumbled in the desert, “Is the Lord among us or not?”
Of course, the Lord is among us! And, not only that, but the Lord is in me. He has promised never to leave me or forsake me. His Spirit has come to abide with me forever.
John 14:15 If you love me, you will keep my commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever…
This is the same Holy Spirit who helps with our weaknesses and intercedes for us…
So what does my Father think when I say to Him, “No one understands this calling. I have no one to talk to….”
Not much…
Our Father is good and wants to give us good gifts:
Psalm 84:11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
from those who walk uprightly.
12 O LORD of hosts,
blessed is the one who trusts in you!
If the LORD is withholding friends from us at a particular time, we know that is for our good. Our LORD will never withhold anything good from us. Never! He is our loving Father. He wants to give us good gifts. And His best gift to us is Himself. How easily I forget that in so many ways, including this area of my friendships. We will be blessed as we trust in Him and in His ways and in His will for us during those times of loneliness. May He give us grace to draw closer to Him and be ever-mindful that no matter what the Lord will supply all our need, that He will stand by us and strengthen us at all times.
I was looking back at some of William Williams’ (1717-1791) hymns this week (in Sweet Singers of Wales) and found this one which God used to speak to my soul. I hope it will bless you as it has me.
In Lonely Desert Place
In lonely desert place,
Without one human friend,
If God would daily show His face,
I could my lifetime spend.
He is in every thing,
All-present every hour;
There is no creature that can bring
Its strength to help His power.
The fearful desert night,
Perils in every place,
And fear of death–all take their flight,
Where God reveals His face:
His beauty passing fair,
His peace, and perfect love,
Make holy festivals, where’er
He shineth from above.
Where Thou art, in all things
Immortal life abounds;
Like streams from out the rock it springs,
And reaches heaven’s bounds:
From Thee alone have come
All dawns of shining white,
To guide, through wastes and lowlands home,
The children of the light.
Ye sun and moon, farewell;
Farewell, ye stars of night;
Where God’s sweet presence comes to dwell,
There needs no other light:
A vast eternal day
Comes from His smiling face;
A better, greater light than they–
The radiance of His grace.
The Lord will stand by us and strengthen us!
Philippians 4:11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
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Photo credit: I edited DesertQatar (public domain photo).
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