Not long after I started up deerlife, I wrote (boldface added today):

I have been praying for some time God would bring together in a more cohesive way those of us who have a heart for revival and have  received a calling to pray for revival. I believe we are spread too thinly on the wall (think Nehemiah).

Nehemiah 4:19 And I said to the nobles and to the officials and to the rest of the people, “The work is great and widely spread, and we are separated on the wall, far from one another. 20 In the place where you hear the sound of the trumpet, rally to us there. Our God will fight for us.”

I’m not quite sure how this might look in reality, but I have been feeling for some time that we need to be strategic as we rebuild the wall. By strategic I don’t mean resorting to worldly means but seeking God’s ways and God’s wisdom. The three fold cord is not quickly broken. I confess I have often been tempted to feel like Elijah, that there are no others out there (as I know others have had similar temptations), even though I know there are others. Let us remember that God always has a faithful remnant He is calling and wanting to use. Through deerlife, I pray God might raise up a fellowship of believers here who can support, uphold and encourage one another, so we can be mobilized and sent back into our home churches and communities on mission for Him. I am praying that those of us who have had a taste of revival in our own lives would be able to take that into our churches. I know there are some of us who are specifically called to this blogging community, but all of us are called to build on the home front as well.

I am also praying God would begin to raise up people in the local church to disciple and equip the saints both now and as revival does come, for there will be an influx of hungry souls needing meat. We should all be praying about our responsibility and role in that.

I love the Church and want to see her glorify God as she is intended and that starts with each one of us! I am a strong advocate of every member ministry. As Christians, we are all ministers, we are all uniquely called and equipped by God to be serving Him, His people and our neighbor in love with the gifts and resources He provides for His glory. I am praying God would be gracious to us and allow us to encourage one another to live our lives to His glory in the places He has put us here on this earth.

In the Church today the work is great and the work is widely spread. It is also crucial for us to come together because the world is united in opposition against Christ and against those who are seeking to do His will and seeking the welfare of His Church. We are separated on the wall, far from one another in many ways. I am praying God might be gracious to us here and work through Deerlife to equip, encourage and edify His people as we seek to walk in the works God has ordained for us and build up His Body for His glory.

For more information, please read my posts Welcome to deerlife and Why deerlife? (we are separated on the wall, far from one another). (Some of the thoughts I’ve shared here have been adapted from those posts.)

I would also invite you to visit my other websites, naphtali_deer (Reformed Bible teaching with an eye to experiential Christianity) and tent_of_meeting (prayer for revival).

By the grace of God may we battle with His strength where He leads us and may our God fight for us! May Jesus Christ and Him crucified be preached and Jesus Christ have the preeminence in His Church once more!

And just over three years ago, on May 14, 2010, in my post, a challenge to you (God has some secret ones in all places), I wrote … (boldface added today):

As I said when I started up deerlife, my intent here is to encourage us to encourage one another as we blog/comment here, but also to go out into our local communities and churches and work there. I truly value the friendships and fellowship I have found here. I have been truly blessed. More than I could have imagined. I am not ready to discard what we have here, nor do I believe God intends for us to discard it at this time. I also believe there are others God wants to draw into this cluster here along with us.

From the time I started up [my other blog] tent of meeting [in March 2009], I’ve had in the back of my mind to challenge those of you out there to begin praying that God might bring you to like-minded men and women in your own churches and cities and begin to meet with them on a regular basis to pray for revival for we know that God does have some secret ones in all places, who tremble at His Word. (I’ve already been doing this for myself to some extent.) I’ve held off on publicly announcing that since I didn’t want to go ahead of God, but I believe I He’s leading me to give you that challenge today. I do know He is calling me to more concerted prayer for myself in that regard.

I have no authority over any of you, but I will humbly ask you to consider praying about this, to pray that God would lead you to others in your own area who are zealous for God’s Name and are longing for revival in the Church and seeking to pray for revival… I am bringing this request to this cluster of friends here, and I am asking as God leads you, that you would begin praying this not only for yourself but also for the rest of us here.

I have a dream of many sweet knots of religious friends, clusters of friends flourishing all over the globe as they gather together in concerted prayer to seek God’s face for revival! No Doubt God has some secret ones in all places, who tremble at His Word. The thought of this thrills me! I hope it does you also.

The thought of this still thrills me today! Little by little, God has been leading me (in spite of my fears, my pride, and my stubbornness!) into fellowship with a few of those secret ones locally here in the Madison area. I’m not going to sugar-coat this at all:  this has NOT been an easy process or a painless journey by any means, but it’s been a wholly profitable one. And I confess I’ve struggled many a time as I’ve looked around at the “waves” rather than fixing my eyes on Jesus and staying my mind upon Jehovah and entrusting myself wholly to Him –– but God has continued to show Himself ever faithful and ever true, and shown His mysterious and inscrutable ways to be always loving, always wise, always good, and always beneficial to my soul…

I’ve shared a some of my journey in the local church through my blogging (see my posts tagged local church ). I’ve not been blogging as much here at deerlife (or, for that matter, on my other sites) because my mind, my heart, my energy, and my emotions have been increasingly devoted to the local church, but I still have a great affection for all the saints in all places (including those of you I’ve met via Xanga), as well as a desire for God’s Gospel to run speedily to all the nations –- and so it is with very many mixed emotions that I write today… I’m feeling somewhat like Paul and the Ephesian elders on the seashore (Acts 20):

As I’ve been blogging at deerlife significantly less often than when I started up, in light of the upcoming changes at Xanga and the possibility that Xanga may even end up shutting down (if you’ve not heard, Xanga is hoping to convert to a paid blogging platform – please see here and here) –– I’m planning to shut down deerlife eventually (whether or not Xanga continues). I believe deerlife may possibly be grandfathered in for a period of time if Xanga gets the funding it needs since I did purchase a Life membership just over three years ago. Regardless, I’m hoping to consolidate the posts I’ve written here into my other two sites. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to do that, but I’ll update you here in another post with the details. I’m suspecting I may end up tagging them with “deerlife import,” “deerlife post,” or something like that.

In my very first post here on deerlife (March 15, 2010), I wrote:

I feel I already have a lot I’m already juggling (as do many of you), but if we might come together here once in a while to support each other, I pray it might be a blessing to all so we might build up the local body of Christ in our own communities.

I have been blessed immensely through blogging here, and I thank you for reading, and I thank you for your encouragements and your prayers. However, with my focus increasingly drawn to engagement in the local church, I’m definitely juggling even more –– but as God allows, I still wish to encourage and support you, particularly to spur you on to minister in your local church and to pray for revival. However, that won’t be happening here via deerlife, but, Lord willing, I hope to continue to do so through my other websites:

If you are NOT currently part of a local church, whether or not Xanga shuts down, I urge each and every one of you to go and find a local church steeped in Reformed Bible teaching. (Truly, I do love all the saints, but, well, I say unapologetically that I’m one of the saints cut out of the Reformed cloth. )

Yes, we can certainly join with other believers via cyberspace, and I have found some blessing in that for sure, but there’s a limit to that.

And yes, there will be struggles and difficulties as you seek to find a local church. People are fallible and they will disappoint you (yourself and myself included!).

All that said, I beg of you:  please pray to the Lord to lead you in this, and then to submit to HIS leading and entrust yourself to HIM as you put yourself under the regular systematic teaching of the Word of God, the leadership and discipline of church elders, and the accountability of other believers –– otherwise you are going to be tossed to and fro and you will be deceived (see Eph. 4:1-16). The Church is the pillar and ground of the truth, and as much as I do appreciate the internet and the many resources and relationships that have benefited my soul, there’s really a free-for-all out there as far as doctrine goes, and that’s a real and grave danger. The devil appears as an angel of light –– prowling on website after website, seeking whom he will devour!

And yes, it’s true that each one of us has been redeemed by the blood of Jesus and has been called out of the world as individuals –– however, we are also part of the ekklesia… (From Strong’s Concordance: 1577 ekklesia ek-klay-see’-ah from a compound of 1537 and a derivative of 2564; a calling out, i.e. (concretely) a popular meeting, especially a religious congregation (Jewish synagogue, or Christian community of members on earth or saints in heaven or both):–assembly, church.) In other words, Jesus died to purchase a people for Himself, a community, i.e. – His bride, His Body. If you are not involved in the local Body of Christ, you are quenching and grieving the Holy Spirit of God.

Whether Xanga will continue is yet to be seen. At this point, with 19 days left until the deadline of July 15, they raised just over $ 31,000 of their goal of $ 60,000, Xanga 2.0 is looking less and less likely… (link)).

If you’d like to, if you’ve never done so, you can check out my other Xanga sites (above) and/or keep in touch with me via WordPress at the site below. If Xanga does get the funding to carry on, it sounds like there’ll be a transition period around July 15, so I’ll be giving updates on my WordPress blog. And if Xanga does shut down, I’m expecting to import my naphtali_deer Xanga site to my WordPress blog, and start up another WP site for my tent_of_meeting Xanga site.

http://naphtalideer.wordpress.com
feed://naphtalideer.wordpress.com/feed/   

I’ve been reading in Daniel, and in times of uncertainty, change, and transition, what a refreshment it is to read there of our Surety, of the God who changes not, of the Stone cut with no human hand –– the Lord Jesus Christ –– and of His Dominion which is an everlasting dominion and His Kingdom which will never be destroyed! (See Daniel 2, as well as the rest of the book.) May our God grant us grace upon grace to know and to savor Him as exceedingly precious!

 
“I want you always to believe that God is faithful. However dark and mysterious any of his dispensations may appear, still confide in him. He can make you happy when every thing else is taken from you.”

“David had purposed to build God a house, and, in requital, God promises to build him a house, 11. Whatever we do for God, or sincerely design to do though Providence prevents our doing it, we shall in no wise lose our reward.”

Sharing some of my journey from last month . . .

Yesterday afternoon I felt a great confusion and consternation and darkness. I have continued to feel the door not opening, even closing, regarding my hope of a study at our church, and this has been a terrible strain to me… Of course, to my flesh, not pressing on to pursue such a thing makes no sense, and it grated on me, but I knew I had to submit to the will of the Lord in it. To trust HE would make me happy – even if this thing might be taken away from me. I knew for me to press on in the flesh would have been no different than Abram and Sarai making their plans with Hagar! My desire to have a group of women gathered is a good one. My desire to study the Bible and pray with them and speak of the Lord’s work is a good one ~ Malachi 3:16ff. All that said, if it is not God’s time for that, then it is NOT a good thing.  It greatly distressed me and I felt under a cloud, as it were. But one thing I kept holding onto was that God is not the author of confusion, but a God of peace and I knew His ways were perfect and just, but I didn’t FEEL that.

I read some more of Payson last night and was once again reminded (not that I should have needed to be reminded, since I do know better, but I DID need to be reminded! – the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!) that GOD’s ways are perfect, and that there would be NONE of that perfect peace and NO Sabbath rest – unless I was willing to be all He had for me, that all including my being nothing at all, if that were His will for me.

Edward Payson wrote this about six weeks before his passing:

Of course, I have known this, and once more I was cut to the heart. I had been wondering and been impatient at His leading. And yet, I had no absolutely NO reason to be act that way for I have seen time and again that God’s ways are always best and I have NO cause whatsoever to distrust His love for even a moment.

Anyhow, this morning, I awakened with the chorus to “Trust and Obey” in my mind.

O, I have to tell you that it was KILLING me to put aside my desire for such a group and such a study, but I knew I had to. Though it makes no sense to ME, all I can say in response to the question: “Why do that?” I can only say this:  “I don’t know why. But this I know: the Lord has need of me to do so… Only trust Him… Only trust HIM…”

And then immediately the word came to me, a word that had eluded me, but it came swiftly, without my trying to think of a Scriptural example, but the recollection of Acts 16: it SEEMED GOOD to the disciples to go into Asia, BUT they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Jesus did not permit them.

Well, I can tell you that right then and there I KNEW I had no choice. It grieved me, but I knew what I had to do. I got my folder with all my papers and notes for the study, and I pulled out some papers that were not just for that study that had gotten mingled in with them, and then I placed the entire folder in the back of the closet. I had no other choice. I laid Isaac on the altar.

Then I pulled out a hymnal and turned to “Trust and Obey” and found this in verse 3:

And then I reread that portion of Acts 16.

I wrote this is my journal:

And then this from Payson:

I wrote: “HE supplies ALL my wants. HE IS MY SUPPLY.”

And then I went back and found these words of Payson and was wholly melted down at it, well, at God’s never failing goodnesses to me in spite of myself!

“He has done NOTHING but heap favors.”

And that became my song! … Well, HE became my song!

O to be nothing, nothing but He wants of me… that is the greatest enjoyment. Why do I fight Him at every turn? To be happy in Jesus is to trust and obey. To trust and obey is to be happy in Jesus. The confusion and clouds are gone. HE HAS DONE NOTHING BUT HEAP FAVORS. How foolish and brutish and vile we are to ever, ever doubt Him, even for a moment!

And then, this from Payson from several years prior (emphasis, mine):

EVERY burden, sorrow, toil, grief, loss, frown, cross – in and through them ALL, He KEEPS scattering blessings to us! How can He refrain from doing so? We are HIS! He is for us!

Can ANYTHING separate us from God’s love for us in Jesus Christ? Can burden or sorrow or toil? Can grief or loss? Can frown or cross? No! Certainly not. HE KEEPS SCATTERING BLESSINGS TO US! HE DOES NOTHING BUT HEAP FAVORS!

“God can sweeten the bitterest cup.”

I began reflecting on this blessing of Jesus, and can we not possibly consider that at least a part of that blessing was the Levitical blessing from Numbers 6, but now imparted to the children of Israel (we are all Israel through Abraham’s seed!) by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself – the God-man, the all-superior great high priest appointed by His Father, the only begotten Son of God, a priest forever after the order of Melchizedek, the priest who ever lives to make intercession, whose priesthood is unchangeable, our Advocate and Mediator!

But yet, we also have such a High Priest who has come to dwell in our hearts by faith so we might know the love of Christ and be filled with all the fullness of God!

And all the while, in even the hardest and hardest and most blustery and rainy providence, even when all is dark, even when He hides His face, HE DOES NOTHING BUT HEAP FAVORS ON THE ELECT!

Thanks be to God for His unspeakable Gift!

I walked in darkness, but I have seen a great light. I dwelt in the shadow of death, and upon me a light has shined!

For with Thee is the fountain of life: in Thy light I have seen light.

His mercies are new every morning! Great is His faithfulness! He is faithful when we are not!

Hallelujah! What a Savior! What a Friend for sinners! Saving, helping, keeping, loving, He is with us to the end!

I’m a child of the King! I’m a child of the King! With Jesus, my Savior, I’m a child of the King!

Oswald Chambers wrote:

As God closed this door, yet another seems to be opened, one which had already been opened, but only due to my stubbornness and blinding pride, I was unable and unwilling to see… I would appreciate your prayers, that I would be made willing clay in our Father’s hands (Isaiah 64:8) and He would make me willing in the day of His power (Psalm 110:3).

Throughout the year ahead and all the days of our lives, may our God give us souls as weaned children, the grace to be trusting, obedient and happy wherever HE places us, to truly know Him and enjoy Him and the favors He continues to heap upon us! We can trust that God always leads us in triumph in Christ WHEREVER He places us! His thoughts and His ways are always higher, always sweeter, always lovelier, always happier, and always fuller than ours! Ephesians 3:20-21.

~ your sister Karen

“if I would but cease struggling … I might be happy” (Edward Payson)
Let us therefore strive to enter that rest (Hebrews 3:7-4:13) ~ Sing and rejoice, O daughter of Zion
Lent II.-God’s calling: “As my Father hath sent Me, so send I you.” | Oswald Chambers

All the references from Payson are from the Memoir, Select Thoughts and Sermons of the Late Rev. Edward Payson by Edward Payson (1783-1827) and Asa Cummings with the page numbers in parentheses.

Work found at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Champaigne_shepherd.jpg | {{PD-Art|PD-old-100}}

Earlier today on my other site I posted a poem/hymn I wrote, which I titled “Though the waves arose,” which I’m going to repost here…

Though the waves arose
The solid Rock remained
The name exalted above
All other gods and names

In Your billows You were concealed
Faithfulness fresh, unfailing love
Grace gushed forth, Your glory revealed
Plenteous downpour from above

Though the waves arose
The solid Rock remained
The name exalted above
All other gods and names

In roaring waves, though anxious and afraid
Having found grace once again I found grace
Clouds unveiled Your shining countenance
Yoked to Christ, hidden in the secret place

Though the waves arose
The solid Rock remained
The name exalted above
All other gods and names

When I was thirsting, weary and faint
Your goodness marched through the wilderness
The earth shook, the heavens dropped rain
At break of dawn showed Your lovely face

Though the waves arose
The solid Rock remained
The name exalted above
All other gods and names

My mind wavered, hence I was puzzled
I yielded to fleshly restlessness
But the Word spoke, the storm was muzzled
Joy and peace flowed, blessed quietness

Though the waves arose
The solid Rock remained
The name exalted above
All other gods and names

Jesus alone thoroughly pleaded my case
Compassed my soul with songs of deliverance
In the flood You were my shield and hiding place
In besieged city showed marvelous kindness

Though the waves arose
The solid Rock remained
The name exalted above
All other gods and names

In and through the journey and all around
The Shepherd preserves and holds me tight
Hesed’s footsteps pursue me without a sound
The night becomes day, the darkness light

Though the waves arose
The solid Rock remained
The name exalted above
All other gods and names

Each and ev’ry lamb for whom You bled and died
You will never fail to strengthen and sustain
Your inheritance You cannot cast aside
For the praise and blessing of Your glorious name

Though the waves arose
The solid Rock remained
The name exalted above
All other gods and names

Mark 4:35  On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.” 36  And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. 37  And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. 38  But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” 39  And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 40  He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” 41  And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even wind and sea obey him?”

Jeremiah 50:33: “Thus says the LORD of hosts: The people of Israel are oppressed, and the people of Judah with them. All who took them captive have held them fast; they refuse to let them go. Their Redeemer is strong; the LORD of hosts is his name. He will surely plead their cause, that he may give rest to the earth, but unrest to the inhabitants of Babylon.”

I Chronicles 16:25 For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and he is to be held in awe above all gods.

Now I’d like to give you a little background behind “Though the waves arose.”

Last Sunday our pastor announced he was going to be leaving to take another pastorate, and his final Sunday with us will be July 31.

When the words left his lips, I found myself in tears, but soon enough, by the goodness and grace of God, I found the tears slowing as I turned to Isaiah 63 and planted myself right there in the sovereign love and care of God, that no matter my feelings or my perceptions about it, as God leads His people, He is not haphazard or cruel, but His love never fails, and He is always purposeful, always working for the good of His children and always working to make for Himself an everlasting and glorious name.

You may wonder how I got to Isaiah 63…

The day before, I’d read Joseph Hart’s hymn “Blessed is the Man that endureth Temptation” and was blessed and encouraged by that, and in particular by the final two lines:

I couldn’t remember those exact words on Sunday morning, but I did remember the general idea and I had also been looking at related Scriptures the night before, including that passage in Isaiah 63. (Sunday afternoon I did end up posting the hymn and some associated Scriptures here.) So it was as if God had truly provided me with that extra portion of manna for the Sabbath: in this case the assurance that He would finish what he had begun, though it was up to Him as to what that way would be.

God is certainly choosing a way I wasn’t expecting, but He is God and I am not! I am trusting Him to finish what He has begun. I don’t know what this will mean for me in particular, but I am asking for God’s grace to be patient and wait upon God and to have faith to believe God is leading this congregation (and me) in a way that will make for Himself an everlasting and glorious name, for that’s really the bottom line, isn’t it?

On Monday morning, I went out to a nearby park to sit and read for a while. Afterwards, I wanted to do some walking, so I took my books/backpack back to my car first. On the way, I became quite sad and overwhelmed once again about our pastor leaving and began questioning a lot of things and crying, but right away it was almost as if God lifted me out of time and reminded me of how He had worked wonderfully in our last church, through some very difficult and trying circumstances to draw me closer to Him and increase my love for Him (see here and here) and how my attitude at that point was mostly one of self-absorption and self-pity (the latter Oswald Chambers said was of the devil).

After I’d taken my books to my car, I got a sermon cued up on my iPod and then began walking. I’d not walked very far, and then I heard someone call my name. It was a Christian sister whom I’d not seen in several years… and to add to this – she now lives several hundred miles away (almost a five hour drive) in another state! She was visiting in town and was out walking with another believer. After I shared with them about our pastor leaving, we all prayed together. It was truly a sweet and a wonderful evidence of God’s providential care in the storm!

So that gives you some sense as to why I wrote what I did today regarding Christ being that solid Rock in the storm and waves.

God always provides His people with all we need for the journey, and I wanted to give Him thanks and praise for the precious manna He has been providing for me before, during and since Sunday morning, the time the storm hit.

In my last update, after giving some excerpts from the story of William Carey, I wrote that

In spite of what’s happening with our pastor and our church, I do not want to be dissuaded, I wish to continue undaunted in the work God has for me to do. I am praying God would strengthen me to do so.

As you are led, I would appreciate your praying not only for me but also for our congregation, that we would be filled with God’s wisdom as we go about calling our next pastor and we would be knit together in God’s Spirit and be of one heart and mind.

I’ll close with a little more from Hart’s hymn, which makes for a fitting prayer: