If you’ve not read my posts Update/prayer requests – October 7, 2010 and Simeon’s Waiting, Payson’s Waiting, Our Waiting, I’d suggest you do so as background to this post; they give some background as to the work of God in calling me to prayer for revival…

I share the account below from my journals (with a few minor edits) as testimony that the God who calls His children to work is faithful to provide us with all we need to do that work… and not only that, but also to impart to us joy and gladness in our service.

I had been reflecting about the stark difference between Joshua and Caleb (those men who had a different spirit and wholly followed the Lord) and the other 10 spies (as well as the rest of Israel). Then I began thinking more about how we don’t press on for the milk and honey, and so I’d printed up a sheet of the Bible verses (KJV) that included milk and honey in them, and these two from Ezekiel 20 particularly grabbed me:

And I began to reflect on how unthankful I am, and what I wretch I am when I begin to despise God’s gifts and calling, and I begin to grumble and doubt and I don’t trust that WHEREVER God has me and WHEREVER God is leading me is a place that He has GIVEN to me, a place that is PECULIARLY ESPIED for me (it’s not just a haphazard or random place), for that place FLOWS with milk and honey (there are not just little “communion cups” with milk and honey) – and… the place is THE GLORY OF ALL LANDS. I NEVER remembered reading that phrase before: “THE GLORY OF ALL LANDS!” Of ALL lands! And with all that, I was really melted down in confession and repentance for my discontentment (for I SHOULD know better!), and then given grace to be like the weaned child… a holy contentment … and wonderful weeping of joy as I was lying there and I was able to pray something like this…  “I am pleased with You, Christ, and all You are and all You have for me. THIS IS THE GLORY OF ALL LANDS. Whether you give or take away, blessed be Your name! To have YOU is the ultimate blessing!” And all I sought was HIM and I was happy and pleased with Him and to be in HIS will for I knew that HIS will was espied for me, flowing with milk and honey and is is the glory of ALL lands (where can I go? whom have I in heaven or on earth but YOU!).

–– But then quite strangely I found myself adding onto that … “Grant me also a spirit of prayer!” I glanced at myself and thought, “Now, why would I ask that?” but I felt that request to be given the spirit of prayer had been GIVEN to me. And it wasn’t as if I were feeling God was not enough, for I knew Him to be MORE than enough. So I left it at that, for I did know I have known sweet communion IN PRAYER, and that is what way I have come to KNOW HIM, and I see prayer as particular part of that land He has espied for me (though, of course, for all the saints in some measure).

A little while later I went walking, and I listened to a sermon (I can’t even remember now what it was). After that, I sat down again and began once more to reflect on Ezekiel 20, and just began to weep for myself and the Church. I know I have been burdened in prayer before, but I really felt in a greater sense than ever that THE BURDEN of the Lord was given, much like the prophets would have received. Instead of the Shekinah glory of joy, joy, joy in my chest, there was a crushing Shekinah glory of holy, holy, holy: the burden of the LORD! the burden of the LORD! the burden of the LORD! It returns now as I write of it. … I don’t think I have ever been so weighed down, and though I know I have been weighed down previously. I began going through most of the chapter, and I confessed our sin of rebellion and rejection and how our hearts and eyes are not fixed rightly, and so on, and asked Him to be merciful to us. And how abominable we are, since God’s intent in His leading us is for LIFE, and yet we continue to take up death. How wretched we are that we are NOT happy with the land espied for us, the land flowing with milk and honey, the glory of all lands! As we are in Christ, we ARE indeed in a wealthy place, but we do not know it! And I went to some other similar Scriptures in the Psalms. And so, the Spirit of grace and supplications had been given to me (Zechariah 12:10ff). And in it, I was immensely blessed. It was one of the few times I have ever really prayed.

But the strange thing was this, and of course, it SHOULD HAVE BEEN obvious to me, but wasn’t –– UNTIL I stood up and started walking a few steps –– and it was only then that I remembered the prayer request I had made for the spirit of prayer only a couple hours beforehand! And at that point I was completely dumbfounded! And I had to stop right there in my tracks (as if I needed Balaam’s donkey on the path to remind me of these things!) — for it was only then I began to understand the profound work that God had done. I can’t even explain this to you, but it only proved that I wasn’t trying to sit down in my own fleshly effort to pray (i.e. – because as I’d said, I’d not even remembered my prayer! — so I hadn’t even prayed: “O! Lord! Help me to pray about these things!”). I had been led to return to the passage, and the burden of the Lord at that point was given me. So that prayer from earlier, that I might be granted a spirit of prayer, was shown to have been given to me, as I was later given what I had asked for. Is this not perhaps what might be meant when Isaiah wrote:

And so, with that realization came profound joy and gladness! For all of that prayer was not only given to me, but given to me in such a marvelous manner, that ALL THE GLORY had to go to GOD and GOD ALONE! I was but a dumb beast about it all! I prayed, yet not I, but the grace of God in me! And then I wrote down these things:

And then later on:

As to any call to and desire to pray: that was from Him at the first and CONTINUES to be from Him. And now, He is performing in me what He has promised!

I share that account with you as an encouragement. As Christians, we are members of the Body of Christ, and by definition we will have different callings. As for myself, God has had me on this journey to prayer for a period of over three years now, and He has proved Himself faithful over and over:  much like when God called Moses in Exodus 3, and Moses questioned Him, but God gave Moses a sign:

God has given me such a sign on a few blessed occasions:  a spirit of grace and supplications has been given to me, that is, prayer not worked up in my own power, but prayer coming down from the Father of lights – and such communion with the living God during those times is precious and unsurpassed.

I remember a few years ago, when I first began reading Christian biography, I noticed phrases In the journals of Whitefield and Brainerd, etc. about being their enabled to pray, or prayer given to them…. That’s the type of prayer I’m talking about, such as Whitefield wrote of here:

As we learn to enjoy God in the place he has us, in the calling He has given us, and not to continue to look around at results, and not to continue to look as Peter did in John 21, i.e. – to look at John and query, “What about this man?” – but instead to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, to seek to be like that weaned child of Psalm 131, to seek to be about our Father’s business (not ours), to seek His Kingdom (not ours), to seek His glory (not ours), to seek His will (not ours), to seek to be diligent to enter the Sabbath rest available to us in Jesus Christ, to seek the baptizing fire and refreshment of the Holy Spirit, to strive to keep our hands on the plow He’s provided for us (and not turn back, or look for “another” plow), and to place ourselves unreservedly and wholeheartedly into God’s hands – no matter what – that is when we will experience fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore in the service to which God has called us, be it prayer or whatever. God has promised He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Our God does not intend our service to Him to be joyless. Read the LORD’s rebuke of Israel in Deuteronomy 28:

We are each called to….

Now, I’m not saying we won’t grieve, and we won’t be sad, and we won’t have difficulties, for we certainly will. Our Lord Himself told us that in this world we will meet with tribulations, and in II Timothy, we read that all who are godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. That said, as we seek to serve the Lord, as we seek grace and power to fulfill the calling He has given us, we will come to know Him experientially as a sanctuary so we might drink of the Living Waters from the Rock in our wilderness places and be given grace to sing the Lord’s song – even in Babylon ( ~ Psalm 137).

Oh the happiness of communion with God!

Like Abraham, may God grant us faith that we have no distrust, so we might not waver concerning the promise of God, but may we grew strong in our faith as we give glory to God, fully convinced that our God is for us and He is able to do in and through and for us what He has promised (~ Romans 4:20-21).